Venting, please don’t give me advice, it’s over 🖤 I don’t think I need to live a lot longer. I...

Your son will always need you to be on the planet. Don’t leave him alone with no family, even when he’s an adult. You don’t want him to feel as lonely as you do. You are going through a rough patch emotionally right now. It will pass. I know this because it has pretty much been my life, so it’s good to vent, and feel what you feel, but one day, you’ll feel better. You know this already. Bad days followed by good days ... {hugs}

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

I hear you. I feel similarly about my life. Honestly, I often hate it and become passively suicidal. But your son will always need his mama.

Trust me. I worry about my mother every day because she is sick, and a few years ago her mother died, and even in her middle age it has devastated her.

You are needed. I hope you feel better.

Rambler · 61-69, M

what you will find, i think, is that you can never go out on your son that way. he will surely be doing fine in life on his own, but he'll still be your son, and you'll still be his mother, and those doors don't ever close.

BlueVeins · 22-25

I respect this. I think the decision to live or die should be respected if it's made in advance on the basis of quality of life. You're a good mother.

RoxClymer · 41-45, M

it's tough after; lterally 40+ yrs with a disability; I may not make the same choice but I Completely
understan the kids that say "just let me go" after battling cancer for 85% of their short life.

fun4us2b · M

My dad is 96, I'm 62 - do I need him to survive? No, but I will miss him when he passes - sadly, I know he is tired, worn, and yet when I take him outside and a warm breeze rustles the leaves, the guy that had a stroke in 2010 and can barely speak says clearly "This is wonderful"....and my heart soars....and my son...well I wouldn't miss a minute of hearing about his life, even though he's 2500 miles away....

I was way different when I was 40, much angrier, impatient - but the years mellowed me despite less than ideal circumstances....

Hang in there, give yourself a break from worry - you're a good smart person

Lilymoon · F

Stop it you have your whole life ahead of you anything can happen

SW-User

Yeah i deleted my reply of the morning cause was also quite sad and even if I hear you and understand exactly what you mean cause I can have thoughts like those too, but really I wish you the best. We don't know if we'll be alive tomorrow, and always think we can decide about our end, and yes we can, but maybe it would catch us before.
I've heard it's truly heartbreaking for a son or even someone close, to mourn that lost, some never find closure and feel guilty.
So anyway, I wish you the best.
Your son will be your son always.
Just live a day at a time. And I'll try to do the same thing even if it's tough.

SW-User

You should be looking forward to having grandkids. They will love being around you. You can take them places in your van and have adventures together.