to Allyssa (My ex)

I’m sorry for “all I’ve done” but if your gonna ignore me then why say you still wanna be friends. I’m not gonna cry over you, if your gonna be a scumbag then go for it. I don’t even know why I’m writing this if I’m the reason we broke up and I’m the reason we stopped talking. I hate myself for it because we were to happy but I had to let my anxiety get the best of me. I wish I just let the feeling die down so I could still be happy. I miss being happy like how we were.. we would always hold hands and hug when we left, I even met your parents. I wish I just stopped being so selfish and tried to stay with you but it’s over now. I never will feel that way again, I hope I can forget all of this but it’s hard to when my friends hang out with you and are friends with you. I wish I could just suck up my anxiety and say “I miss you” I wish I could just stop being like this. I hate myself, I hate everything about myself, I don’t even deserve a good relationship like that… I hope you have a nice time now that I’m gone and I hope you forget about me…