why cant my dad just apologise like it wont hurt his ego
please excuse my granmmar as my grammar is not strong.
my dad and i havent seen each other due me reporting to the police about my step-brother SA'd me when i was 11. My dad didnt believe me because i didnt report immediately when it happened and blamed me plus he defended him instead of me. I was heart broken when i heard him saying i immediately broke down...i wished he did believe but he didnt. Fast forward to 11months, after everything and he didnt do anything to fix the broken relationship but instead married the mother of the person who ruined my life and said "i have to explain to them why i made the report". I have my reasons why i didnt report immedaitely but the main reason why is because i didnt want to ruin his "happiness" like he loved my step-brother more than his blood related child....he was happy. I felt horrible if i did do the report cause my dad has depression and anxiety and if i did that means i will ruin his happiness, I want to see my dad happy so i just bottle up my feelings and pretend everything was okay but slowly the guilt was eating me up,i am wrong from reporting the SA'd? All i wanted was to feel safe but i felt i did something wrong and well after the report i was thinkig of commiting suicide since my dad just idk how to put it. he didnt even bother to apologise from he said to me and expects me to apologise...yes its my fault for not telling him but i was scared of him. I feel like i am wrong idk how to feel...
my dad and i havent seen each other due me reporting to the police about my step-brother SA'd me when i was 11. My dad didnt believe me because i didnt report immediately when it happened and blamed me plus he defended him instead of me. I was heart broken when i heard him saying i immediately broke down...i wished he did believe but he didnt. Fast forward to 11months, after everything and he didnt do anything to fix the broken relationship but instead married the mother of the person who ruined my life and said "i have to explain to them why i made the report". I have my reasons why i didnt report immedaitely but the main reason why is because i didnt want to ruin his "happiness" like he loved my step-brother more than his blood related child....he was happy. I felt horrible if i did do the report cause my dad has depression and anxiety and if i did that means i will ruin his happiness, I want to see my dad happy so i just bottle up my feelings and pretend everything was okay but slowly the guilt was eating me up,i am wrong from reporting the SA'd? All i wanted was to feel safe but i felt i did something wrong and well after the report i was thinkig of commiting suicide since my dad just idk how to put it. he didnt even bother to apologise from he said to me and expects me to apologise...yes its my fault for not telling him but i was scared of him. I feel like i am wrong idk how to feel...
16-17
