is it my fault
i have a bestfriend. they are the best person in the world. but lately our relationship hasnt been doing well ever since me and my boy bestfriend started dating.
it started last week, i wanted to try dating my boy bestfriend, but i was the type to fall in love fast, and hes just the right person for me. at first it was just pretend dating to prank everyone, but then they started teasing me about it. everywhere i go people would say "where is your boyfriend", or call me by his name, or whenever i come to my bestfriend class, their friend would said sth like "go hangout with your boyfriend". i told my bestfriend about it and they said its just a joke, but im a sensitive person, ive tried to ignore it multiple times but i just cant. and they said "what do you want me to do then?" it really hurts me. but i didnt want us to fall apart, so i tried telling them that they arent doing anything wrong and im trying to treat 2 of them (them n my bf) equally. they didnt say anything about it. i was feeling so down i wasnt able to go to school, so i took a day off. fortunately, they asked me why i took a day off and apologized to me. maybe they finally realized. until i send them tiktok about trios, and they reply with "its a duo+me". i started overthinking again, its been a habit of mine since young. what did i do wrong, are they upset, what do i do. so many questions in my head. i talked to my boyfriend about it, he encouraged me and gave me advice and tried to cheer me up. i waited hours until they reply, which was "just let it be for a while". just how? i feel like im a bad friend for having a boyfriend, i feel like im forcing them to answer everything. i feel like im forcing them to do everything, from hanging out to talking with me. they said they only come out of their class because of me and not because they want to. am i forcing them, should i apologize. i feel so bad, if only i didnt start teh whole thing, i wouldnt be here. i dont want to stop being friends with them. theyre the reason im still alive and havent hurt myself yet. theyre an important person to me. im too attached to them. without them it feels like hell. but i also dont want to break up with my boyfriend because of them, my boyfriend is also important. the reason im alive right now is because of the two of them. sorry if it was a little negative, i just want to vent it all out. what should i do now, the relationship will be gone because of me.
it started last week, i wanted to try dating my boy bestfriend, but i was the type to fall in love fast, and hes just the right person for me. at first it was just pretend dating to prank everyone, but then they started teasing me about it. everywhere i go people would say "where is your boyfriend", or call me by his name, or whenever i come to my bestfriend class, their friend would said sth like "go hangout with your boyfriend". i told my bestfriend about it and they said its just a joke, but im a sensitive person, ive tried to ignore it multiple times but i just cant. and they said "what do you want me to do then?" it really hurts me. but i didnt want us to fall apart, so i tried telling them that they arent doing anything wrong and im trying to treat 2 of them (them n my bf) equally. they didnt say anything about it. i was feeling so down i wasnt able to go to school, so i took a day off. fortunately, they asked me why i took a day off and apologized to me. maybe they finally realized. until i send them tiktok about trios, and they reply with "its a duo+me". i started overthinking again, its been a habit of mine since young. what did i do wrong, are they upset, what do i do. so many questions in my head. i talked to my boyfriend about it, he encouraged me and gave me advice and tried to cheer me up. i waited hours until they reply, which was "just let it be for a while". just how? i feel like im a bad friend for having a boyfriend, i feel like im forcing them to answer everything. i feel like im forcing them to do everything, from hanging out to talking with me. they said they only come out of their class because of me and not because they want to. am i forcing them, should i apologize. i feel so bad, if only i didnt start teh whole thing, i wouldnt be here. i dont want to stop being friends with them. theyre the reason im still alive and havent hurt myself yet. theyre an important person to me. im too attached to them. without them it feels like hell. but i also dont want to break up with my boyfriend because of them, my boyfriend is also important. the reason im alive right now is because of the two of them. sorry if it was a little negative, i just want to vent it all out. what should i do now, the relationship will be gone because of me.
22-25, F