This is so personal

Every time I have an shit night at work , I cry and then I cry even more as I had an friend who was an stripper too but in her younger years , she was my best online friend , I told her everything , She never judged me and she truly was someone I felt safe with and no topic was offlimits. One day we was talking and she just disapered. No answer nothing. And to this day her skype profile has been left untouched. 8 months has gone by and im still hurting but I get on with my life and Ive gotten to the point I can be happy without her but when I have an shit night at work , it really hurts me as I dont have her to talk to about my night or ask for advice so I just cry so much until I cant cry anymore. I have an best friend at work but shes not that bothered about me as much as she used to be and I feel like I have to fight for her attention and support. I wished I could get clousure. I never thought I would miss her this much. I always try to think that maybe she is hoping im truly happy and I try to never give up on my work , I know she would want me to be truly happy and successful in everything I do. And I sometimes feel like shes thinking about me , I do hope im still in her thoughts.