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Mildly AdultUpset
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No matter what I tell myself and what people tell me, I am not ready to let go of you.

Nor to accept that all my years training and working in healthcare amount to shit when it comes to extending your life.

I wish you let me help you when it mattered. There was hope. Now my empiricist mind knows otherwise.

Sirin was a part of why I wanted to have the skills I do; to evade powerlessness and helplessness , to escape having to swallow the poison of acceptance because nothing else can be done, to prevent the end of my loved ones and outliving them again, to prevent surviving just to cope..

All this power but you refused it. All my preparations for nothing. Here I am again powerful or powerless getting fucked over.

Having more power, more knowledge, more abilities for the sake of love or fear will never mean triumph. I am getting fuked over by your free will and everything else I can never control.

The unknown is greater than the human. So small we are and insignificant. The unknown doesn't give fuk about who we love and care about. Nor how much we love and care about them.

I won't say goodbye. I never do. At least it can't rule over that.
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MellyMel22 · F
Hope you’re okay, considering ❤