I just looked at the entrance of my room and I managed to describe what I've been feeling for a long time

I'm not really present anymore. I've forgotten what it's like. I've forgotton how to be. I've surpressed why it's needed, and decided that it's for the best.

Yet, I no longer am here. I've removed myself from this world. I no longer see through my own eyes. The eyes I'm wearing are borrowed, and I do not see what I see as my own.

It sounds scary but I think this is what regular people have always done. It used to be crystal clear. I can see the memory of my parents bedroom clearer than what I can see my very own world as I'm staring at it.

I no longer let myself absorb all of the nuances of the world. The edges, the colors, the feelings, people's reactions, the sources of pain or the sources of happiness. It's to protect myself, for the eyes of a child is sensitive and fragile. This world does not allow fragile beings.

I am constantly, with my every breath, waiting for the day where I can open my eyes.. once more.