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Post your favorite one-liner.

We need some HUMOR in here!!!

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Fishy · F

I went to the doctor and told them I have a strawberry stuck up my bum.

They said they had some cream for that.

Rose0415 · 36-40, F

Come with me if you want to live.

Yulianna · 22-25, F

titanic

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Yulianna · 22-25, F

@TheSirfurryanimalWales that was one liner...

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

@Yulianna Well it was a Liner once....

Yulianna · 22-25, F

Myzery · 41-45, F

I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.

LadyJ · F

Cheer up! You have a face like a smacked arse 😏

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

Never do today what you can possibly put off till tomorrow

TheSirfurryanimalWales · 61-69, M

@ozgirl512 l live by that.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

@TheSirfurryanimalWales WC Fields ;)

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

@ozgirl512 Never do tomorrow what you can do the day after. Procrastinate now...don't put it off.

EvilEmma · F

I learned Morse code and then I couldn't sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

EvilEmma · F

Chameleons are supposed to blend well, but I think it's ruined this smoothie.

TheSirfurryanimalWales · 61-69, M

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

@TheSirfurryanimalWales I love that line.

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

@TheSirfurryanimalWales [youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAy4zULKFDU]

Madmonk · M

My dog jumped off a cliff. I said “Dog gone”

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

A man walks into a Trump rally and asks, "Who's the smartest person in this place?" Turns out it's the imbecile with an IQ of 30. He's the smartest person at the Trump rally. -- Get it? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays Can you explain it for us?

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@ProfessorPlum77 No. I'm not smart enough to do that.

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays Your reply made me literally LOL. 😄

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

I think we need a bigger boat!

Londonn · 36-40, M

when someone tries to fix a nonsense with another nonsense I always wanna go

but then I'd be rude, aren't I? 😁

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@Londonn Johnson's Wax?

SW-User

The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.😬 ba bim

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@SW-User That one is a keeper.

Madmonk · M

@SW-User that’s a great one

elafina · 36-40, F

eye-liner 🙄

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elafina · 36-40, F

@Repete i have difficulty following rules 🙈

Repete · 61-69, M

I understand that, so do I unless I can agravare a little by pointing out minor details. 🙃🙂🙃@elafina

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

Majorlatency · M

Hey, why don't you go slip into something a little more comfortable.....like a coma!!!!!

Dusty101 · F

“Go sell crazy somewhere else we're all stocked up here"

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

I could have been a contender

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Yulianna · 22-25, F

@ozgirl512 true... i am still struggling to suppress my inner socialist.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

@Yulianna living under the loving arms of Uncle Joe and all those that followed in his wake will do that you ;)

Yulianna · 22-25, F

@ozgirl512 i am finding that.

Harriet03 · 41-45, F

I started the day convinced I'd never laugh again, then you walked in wearing that dress!

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@Harriet03 THAT is a classic!!!

Carlisle · F

stratosranger · M

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@stratosranger Wise words.

Dewms

tell me, if you're here, who's in charge of heaven?

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@Dewms God? 🤔 🌠

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@Dewms 🤔

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

[c=800000]I have been reading a book on anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.[/c]
😳

Really · 80-89, M

I always wanted to be somebody; but I should have been more specific.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

Carlisle · F

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

@Carlisle you sure? 🤣

SubstantialKick · 31-35, M

You should know your role, and shut your mouth!

SW-User

You're as sharp as a marble

Dv8rs · 18-21, F

"Everywhere I go, there I am." Dv8rs

elafina · 36-40, F

If you're going through hell, keep going... 🤘👌

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elafina · 36-40, F

@ozgirl512 🚲 I'm to the other side already! Now it's about time for a ⛵

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

@elafina good...a great time to stop and sniff the flowers 🥺

elafina · 36-40, F

@ozgirl512 there always has been time for that 😊

Repete · 61-69, M

🎣

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@Repete 🤔

Repete · 61-69, M

I can’t help it. I like fishing but I’d really like to use two lines 🎣 🎣 @ProfessorPlum77

Really · 80-89, M

Famous last words:

Airline pilot: [i]What's it doing now?[/i]
Wartime aircraft spotter: [i]It's one of ours[/i]
Meteorologist: [i]What's happened to the anemometer?
[/i]

FloorGenAdm · 51-55, M

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIahXVJrvT0]

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

I voted for Biden. Now I have narcolepsy!

[image]

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays I have felt like that this afternoon.

BlueSkyKing · M

Power corrupts and absolute power is a lot more fun.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

Bula, peel me another grape

OzDiver · 61-69, M

"Well, nobody's perfect"

SW-User

THE WOPS – “HE LIVES OUT IN THE WOPS”

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

@SW-User Back of Bourke you mean.

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