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Wow, what a shitty.. shitty day 😶

Crazy how fast everything can change, & you're back to square one. Like all that progress wasn't really progress when you're back wondering wtf to do 😒

It's crazy man. This the point where I usually crash & start self destructing. Drink like crazy, do wild shit because I feel like it doesn't matter.

I can't let myself do that this time. I don't wanna keep letting life make me feel like I don't deserve to be happy 🥹
I don't necessarily agree with all the sentiments in the following poem, but it's got a lot to say.

If
...Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
UpForItNow · 22-25, F
@Mamapolo2016 Yes my parents gave me this on a birthday card on my 18th. All very true.
@UpForItNow Of course, to "be a Man" is regarded with less admiration these days.
ExtremeNext · 31-35
The best way to make yourself feel better is send me a gift right now, don't think about it just do it 😳
ExtremeNext · 31-35
@scooogy 🤔and
scooogy · 31-35, MVIP
@ExtremeNext 160.363 > 371 😬
ExtremeNext · 31-35
@scooogy how many gifts have you got 33 > 681 💪
BlueVeins · 22-25
Take some time to breathe, cry a little if you have to. Eat some cookies. Play some Halo. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep marching on.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@BlueVeins I'm seeing this late but thanks 🤗
deadgerbil · 26-30
What happened? And yeah alcohol never solves any issues
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@deadgerbil yeah it doesn't. I'm kinda bored of drinking these days tbh. At least alone
Graylight · 51-55, F
This is what some of call a "play it through" opportunity. Play the scene all the way through in your head. You let it all go, hit the "f**k it" button. Where does that take you? What happens as a result of this decision? Does it get you closer to your goal? Does it get you what you need in the short-term future?

My guess is no. If it does, by all means, let loose for the rest of us, too. But it it's going to result in more damage, I don't see a clear reason to proceed.
Graylight · 51-55, F
@ChiefJustWalks It is the easy thing to do. And the least rewarding. And it'll never, ever get you what you're looking for.

You'll do anything for a little temporary relief. Believe me, I get it. But what if I told you if your were up to it you could have a whole life feeling better than you do right now? All it takes is a shift in perspective.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Graylight I hate to sound negative because I appreciate your comment but you're not telling me anything I don't know... But thank you nonetheless 🙏
Graylight · 51-55, F
@ChiefJustWalks Repetition, frustrating as it is, is the only thing that works until you get tired enough to change. So keep repeating it, friend. One day, all you'll remember is the time someone said it one day and it all finally clicked. Hope you find that moment soon. Peace.
You’re doing so well with not self destructing and letting it all eat at you 🤗 I’m proud of you for that. ❤️
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Stark thank you 🖤 idk if I could do it without you rn... I'd be falling apart
SW-User
Stay strong , buddy. This post is 2 days old, I hope you’re feeling better today.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@SW-User thank you 🤗 kinda just hit a roadblock in life & just tryna deal with it. Luckily I've been okay so far 😌
SW-User
For me it’s been the past few weeks, but yeah. Thought I was moving forward, thought great opportunities were coming, but it was all an illusion. I’m stagnating and getting nowhere. I feel like shit doesn’t matter either.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
MellyMel22 · F
Don’t do it 🤨
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
Same. Hugs dude.

I self destruct with booze. Thing is happiness eludes me.

I end up feeling all dead and alone. Not a good feeling at all.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Beatbox34 thanks man 🤗
I feel like I've grown tired of my previous lifestyle. Everything in it but especially the drinking. Like, I still enjoy my beer at times but I don't like being drunk anymore.
In the past I've always drowned everything in alcohol & drowned myself too.
I don't wanna sink anymore I wanna swim
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@ChiefJustWalks Don't do it man. You're young and there's so many good things ahead of you so be happy for it.

You may feel everything is hurting you but focus on the best aspects of your life. I wish you the best.
SW-User
Definitely dont let life's shiit win.
Let's just drink and forget. Without the wild shiit part.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@SW-User I could do a beer 🍻
Iwillwait · M
What happened, bro?
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Iwillwait *sigh* just.. losing at life like usual 😅
Iwillwait · M
@ChiefJustWalks What happened?
Just




Don't




Do



It



You've came too far.💖
TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M
Sorry my friend
(((hugs)))
You deserve happiness, friend.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@bijouxbroussard it's gonna be a bad time for a while actually... Just trying to keep my head up this time I suppose 🙏

 
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