Can best friends be against your choices?

When my mom was alive, my family and even my best friend were against me living with my mother. She abandoned us to have her own life but she chose drug over us. After she got cleaned up, she left us. I refuses to believe that she abandoned us. My brothers want nothing to do with mom and told me it was a stupid idea to want to live with my mom and she would just leave again. I wanted to live with her when I was 16. Even my best friend was like, "Why do you wanna stay with a drug addict woman that made it clear she doesn't want you? She is just going to hurt you again so why bother considering it?" In a blunt, direct tone. I thought she would be in my side. Disappointing. I wouldn't say anything. I was hurt by her answer. My mom died five months ago over drug overdose and not a lot of people are sad or have sympathy towards her. Not even my bestie.

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AmbivalentFriability · 26-30

I think your best friend just wanted to look out for your best interests.

Being a good friend means being honest even when the truth hurts.

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ElizabethBabe1994 · 26-30, F

@AmbivalentFriability Yes but I never had a loving mother.

AmbivalentFriability · 26-30

@ElizabethBabe1994 That's a statement. It isn't a reason that your friend and father should lie to you to just to make you feel better.

My mother has been mentally ill all my life, my dad was an alcoholic. They've hardly been present in my life as parental figures.
It sucks, and I wish I'd had parents who guided me and supported me. But I didn't. I don't. And nothing will ever change that. They won't change because I want them to. It just doesn't work that way.

ElizabethBabe1994 · 26-30, F

@AmbivalentFriability Sorry about your parents. I guess I had to accept the hard brutal fact thay my mom would never wanted me and I'll never have a mother/daughter relationship. I don't want no one to lie to me. My dad said, "I rather tell someone the painful truth and make them cry than to lie to make someone feel better. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind." Harsh but true. Plus not a lot of people have sympathy over my mom's death. I'm still heartbroken about my mommy's death.

NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F

You have a soul that wants to save people. You cant save everyone but you can show them love.

ElizabethBabe1994 · 26-30, F

@NeuroticByNature I wish I could have done something but it's too late. My mommy is gone for good 😭😭💔

NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F

@ElizabethBabe1994 its ok. You showed your love by being there.

DiegoWolfe · 36-40

when we want something so badly it hurts having those who's opinions we respect tell us that truest desire is wrong is painful... They may only want what is best for you, but they don't know what your heart screams for. You were there for you Mom at the moment she was at her lowest. None of them were, they lost that chance to say simply i forgive you with you actions. You are the bigger person and you were right to want to be there. All those others in your life are cowards and liars.

xixgun · M

Of course they can be against your choices. You're friends, not conjoined twins.

ElizabethBabe1994 · 26-30, F

@xixgun I can't believe my best friend was even against my living with my mom. She shocked me when she said "Your mom doesn't want you. Why bother considering it?" I could not speak

xixgun · M

@ElizabethBabe1994 The simple response would have been, "It's not your choice to make."

EugenieLaBorgia · F

I don't think she chose drugs over you. If a person is addicted...well...they don't have much of a choice. You were right in wanting to live with her...

ElizabethBabe1994 · 26-30, F

@EugenieLaBorgia Then why were my family and friends against me living with her?

EugenieLaBorgia · F

@ElizabethBabe1994 Perhaps you made them feel guilty for not helping her more...

ElizabethBabe1994 · 26-30, F

@EugenieLaBorgia did not

bookerdana · M

They may have been trying to protect you but ether out of compassion or a beautiful nature you chose to be with your mom. Even f you're not getting kudos ya dd something good..and as a friend used to say "God will love you for it up i🙂n heaven

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