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caccoon · 36-40
Be gentle with yourself. 💙

She cares about you, so maybe just send her a short message to let her know you're okay, but just feeling overwhelmed right now

She'll understand, I'm sure
@caccoon I want to but I don't want her to worry or feel bad for me either. But maybe I'm already doing that to her by not saying anything.
You're right 🙏
caccoon · 36-40
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Yeah! Send a short message, kinda like a rain check on chatting 💙 she's just worried I'm sure
@caccoon well thank you 🖤

Starcrossed · 41-45, F
I struggle with this too. A lot. And the more I need space the more one friend smothers. Its exhausting but a very old basically family friend I do care for.

My therapist reminded to think of which is more uncomfortable, constantly noticing them checking on you and fretting about your avoidance- or the uncomfortableness of a quick boundary explaining you need space.

She said to ask myself - What are my motivations for not putting up a boundary...would I rather feel uncomfortable during a conversation or to continue feel guilty and ashamed I'm avoiding the conversation?
...When put that way I want to choose momentary uncomfortableness over guilt and shame.


ETA sorry you're feelin' in a funk. 🤗
@Starcrossed that's an interesting take on it. I guess I'd rather tell her than anything. My other friends are fine with me just saying I'm alright then moving on but she likes to talk a lot 😂 which I love about her but it can be a bit much at times like now. Thanks for the insight
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz you are most welcome.
MellyMel22 · F
[i][c=BF0080]If you don’t tell her anything, she’ll prob think you’re upset with her. Is there a way you can say something like, “I rather not talk about it for now.. but it has nothing to do with you(if it doesn't of course).” [/c][/i]
@MellyMel22 I'm thinking of telling her something like that. I wanna tell her I'm sorry if I'm a bad friend but I just don't wanna speak about myself right now. I'd be fine if she wants to talk about anything else though
MellyMel22 · F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz [i][c=800055]You should def tell her at least the last part! [/c][/i]
JestAJester · 31-35, M
Bro you better answer her. Before long you're going to lose her. So what if you can't answer those questions? If shes that close she'll understand. She won't pry for details. Can't tell you how many friends I've cut off, some of them very close friends, because they simply wont talk to me
JestAJester · 31-35, M
@ChiefWalksWith40oz ahh gotcha. my bad.
@JestAJester you're all good I wasn't bothered lol. I appreciate the insight regardless 🙌
JestAJester · 31-35, M
@ChiefWalksWith40oz I think you should say something now. You don't have to write a paragraph. Just something like "Hey sorry for my lack of responses, blah blah blah, promise I'll explain everything, blah blah blah"
Viper · M
First thing, take a step.

Second thing, deep breathe and breathe

Third thing, repeat this process until no more steps are available to be taken
Carissimi · 70-79, F
I’ve done the same with my best friend. When you are isolated, there is nothing to say really. Every day is Groundhog Day, so nothing to update. I feel bad about it too. Just write one line, or two to say you are okay. Put her mind at rest that nothing has happened to you.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
I wish you well. You are too young to live in misery. @ChiefWalksWith40oz
@Carissimi tbh my whole life has been misery 😂 I've made my peace throughout it though 🙏 & thank you
Carissimi · 70-79, F
Well, I hope you get a break and know tremendous love and joy. 🙏@ChiefWalksWith40oz
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@nightjourney she's a good one 🖤 but I don't blame ya. I just stop talking to people if they don't talk to me. But usually if they tell me why then I don't mind at all
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If she's your friend, give her the truth, "warts and all"...you need friends even/esp. when you screw up!
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Well, this person cares about you, so you have a GOOD friend.
@SomeMichGuy true, she really is a good friend
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Then *honor* her friendship with truth. You will be better friends after this. Be brave, Chief!
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
Just let her know what mind space you are in and tell her she doesn’t need to worry if that’s how you feel
@iamonfire696 yeah I think I'm about to now.. just a lil afraid to open the messages because then I HAVE to respond lol
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz I understand this. I have done it before but let her know. She’s your friend and cares about you 💖.
Lilnonames · F
You can work it out

[media=https://youtu.be/Qyclqo_AV2M]
@Lilnonames good song 👏 i don't listen to Beatles often but they're so good

 
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