Dads why are you so “mean to you kids? Or why are you so hard on them?

My late dad has scolded at me for not trying hard enough and I wasn’t applying myself. He knew I am smart, can do so many things for myself so it frustrated him that I was lazy, didn’t wanna do anything and refused to try new things and pushed me out of my comfort zone so many times. He sometimes purposely pushed me out of my comfort zone to “prepare me for life”. Me always showed loved but I felt like he was harder and tougher on me because I don’t catch on to things fast like others, stubborn and refused to go out and holding myself back. He pushed me HARD.
I could complain why was he being so mean and shouted at me for making excuses not to find work or setting for less. He didn’t care if I was autistic and threw it out the window and bluntly told me I can’t expect everyone to accommodate my needs and the world doesn’t revolve around me (which is true). Who I cry he said, “If you’re going to cry, get it done in over it or take it outside because I’m tired of hearing it.