I find this very creepy considering how true it is
My biological mother bless her heart had such a hard life she was sexually abused god knows how many times and she never got therapy or dealt with her problems instead she became resentful, angry, and bitter. Not only that she grew up with my psycho grandmother that I write about sometimes.
My mother ran away when she was a child. She grew up and became a non functional alcoholic. and the irony is all my and my sisters life our family would trash our mother right in front of us. And we were small children but we would defend our mother. It was literally like the entire family hated my mother and she hated the family too and she fought with them relentlessly.
They fought so much that my uncles even took their anger out from our mom on us and would treat us like shit. When the reality is they are the ones that are wrong
These generational issues trickled down onto my sister and my childhood as well causing us immense pain and suffering as a result … of what?! Projection??? Deflection?! I pray that one day my mother can find some peace
I feel that. I deal with the exact same thing. People in my life know my mom left when I was 5. She was on drugs & has always been on/off with it. My grandma would also abuse my mother, starting from when she was only 1. All the stories I've heard are so much more brutal than what I went through myself 😔 my grandma even drowned her in a bathtub once & revived her immediately after. I don't think my mom was sexually abused on a regular but it happened once when she was 14. The man who did it is dead now. My cousin killed him when he found out. Then my mom got in her very first fight because the gf of the guy who raped her, wanted to fight my mom for it. So my mom beat her ass.. & that's when she realized she could fight. So she went wild after that fighting people nonstop & just going out of control ever since.
Her family also pushes her completely away & they all talk shit about her. Which is most of the reason I shut them all out many years ago. Because I snap on people who talk bad about my mom. I get it.. my mom's not great. She's never been a mom to me. But I understand her & I'll always love her. By now I'm probably the only person left who still stands up for her & has hope for her. I don't even know where she is rn & I'm hurt by that... but I'll never turn my back on her
@ChiefJustWalks that last paragraph really personally spoke to me. Some people might look at people like us and say oh why do you even tolerate your mom after all of that.. I used to ask the same question once upon a time
I’m so sorry that you and your mother had to go through that. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad you turned out so well and have such a good head on your shoulders considering the cards you were dealt
@DeluxedEdition yeah I definitely ask myself why at times. My siblings all turned their backs on her by now. I just can't though. Even when I'm disappointed in her like I am rn. I understand her more than anybody & I'd never treat her like shit. It's hard to explain to people but at least you get it 🙏
I'm glad you're doing so well too even when things are hard. You're there so much for your son & I know part of that is probably because you wanna give him a better mom than you had. I don't know much about being a mom but one thing I do know is if you ever feel upset thinking that you're not doing good enough, then you're on the right path
I'm sorry your mother and you been through all that. It's really not fair and whoever does this to a child is nothing but a monster.
My experience is different and I never really had to deal with abuse but the only similarity is yes my whole family is affected by the consequences of my and my brother's physical disability and it made everything different and complicated for everyone. It makes me want to improve things for everyone not just myself because I wouldn't really find peace unless everyone else has their share of it as well. I'm sure that you would relate to the last part and that your experience made you very fair with how you treat your own kids and it will be the way they will treat their own kids in the future.
I love my son so much and I just want to protect him from the world but unfortunately I know that I won’t always be able to do that and it makes me sick. My love for my son Makes all of the “complications” worth it. When you love somebody you don’t view their “flaws” you view them as a person
Society likes to create a mold for people. Not all of us fit into that mold but that’s okay. That’s how God created us and God created each and every one of us with INTENTION.
We are not ever frustrated at our children for their “disabilities” (all we see is their abilities and potential) more less we are frustrated with the world and how the world treats people who do not fit this “mold” that doesn’t even exist.
Why humans have created so many barriers such as prejudice and political hierarchy for the simple reason that it gives somebody a feeling of superiority above someone else
My mom was also sexually abused as a child along with her five brothers and sisters by their father. It’s honestly the worst thing you can do to a child. It murders their soul and you’re right about their trauma trickling down to their children
That's true. Because I am the only one who drinks in the family. My mom and brother they try to talk me out of alcohol problems. However I still go drunk home and sometimes it's alot of mess. So it's mostly me and because of me the have faced whatever I do. When I sober and don't drink. It doesn't changes my problems but yes. I agree at certain point when I feel hopeless and loneliness inside.
My mom was sexually abused from the age of 2 until she was 15. She was abused by a teenage boy (who grew into a man) that worked on my grandparents farm. My grandpa took in foster kids and they would help on the farm. He stayed on and helped my grandfather run it.
No one knew about this. That same man sexually abused me because my dad would leave me with him at the farm when he was helping my grandpa.
It all came out when I was 20 and my mom had a break down. She was a non functioning alcoholic that quit when I was 12 because my dad cheated on her and he gave her an ultimatum.
My mom just replaced one addiction with another. She has so many mental disorders and she tried to unalive herself 5 times. The dysfunction in my family was awful. All of it trickled down to me and my brother and sister.
Today my sister is an alcoholic and my brother pretty much just gets high on weed everyday. My mom is 62 and has early on set dementia and I am the one that has power of attorney. I don’t want to remember my childhood at all.
I am really sorry for what you have gone through @DeluxedEdition. I can certainly understand exactly how you feel 💜. I hope you can heel from this. I am not there yet but I am trying and that’s all we can do.
@SW-User unfortunately that’s exactly what we deal with. My sister and I lean on each other a lot for emotional support because whenever we bring something up our family gets mad at us or invalidates our feelings
And in our house growing up we aren’t really even supposed to acknowledge or have feelings let alone talk about them
But at this point in my life I shut that shit down real quick. And I let my mom know we (my sister and I) deserve to be heard and we do not deserve for someone else to invalidate our feelings. No my mom and my family wasn’t perfect but they are not going to invalidate our trauma I absolutely will not tolerate it
