I’ve broken some hearts [I Am Divorced]

Not by cheating, but by discovering my own unhappiness in the relationship, and by ending the relationship. It was a difficult journey to break up, but the choice, for me was to end my life of break up. The only way not to hurt someone was to kill myself or just break up. How else do you end things. You love someone. But just don’t want to continue in the relationship. I had reasons. Things I discovered. You could say he cheated. He discovered or I discovered his secrets. They shocked me. Sigh. I just could stay.

Why be miserable with someone who played both sides of the fence when I wasn’t interested? When from the get go he lied to me.

Anyhow, I though we could be friends. And we are. But it’s more like he still loves me? But he had a daughter with another woman. That’s not my daughter. She’s not my daughter. and I left him. Period. Divorced. Period. So that I could move on without him. But he held on more than I realized. He has stayed. He should have returned to his family but his new wife was here so he stayed. He picked his wife over his daughter. I guess I felt as if he was a grown man and needed to make his own decisions, but my family thinks he is still in love with me. Tonight I think the same. It hurts. To think he lives nearby because he is still in love with me. I adore his wife, and value him. He’s a great guy. But he should be over me by now. It’s been 20 yearssince we’ve been divorced? He’s remarried I’m remarried! I’m not in love with him!!!

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SW-User

Yeah more people break hearts than others. Its a way of life for dome. They just don't care. In the end its all about themselves.

Mindful · 56-60, F

That’s how I felt that it was all about me but in the end it was also... all about what he wanted so ironically we were both two people who were all about self @SW-User

SWisGoingWoke · M

@Mindful everyone is about self. If they weren't, we'd be in big trouble.

littlepuppywantanewlife · 31-35, M

Don't feel guilty about something which wasn't wrong. 😎 People and situations change all the time but always remember that you deserve happiness. 😁

Mindful · 56-60, F

Thank you very much.@littlepuppywantanewlife

SWisGoingWoke · M

You deserve better. End of story.

Mindful · 56-60, F

@SWisGoingWoke tha k you. These questions are renewed at Christmas because he brings us gifts at Christmas time. At our Christmas meal.

SWisGoingWoke · M

@Mindful ...and the kids probably think that's cool. So you're left with being the bad guy if you say anything.

Mindful · 56-60, F

Sometimes I feel like he wants to be invited, wants to be seen , or is trying to apologize to the family? It scares me how profound things were for him, I’m so grateful he’s kind nit ugly@SWisGoingWoke

Nobody00 · F

Me too but it was their own fault anyway.

Nobody00 · F

Twenty years 😮😮😮 time to forget

Mindful · 56-60, F

@Nobody00 after the divorce he would tell me that everything I had said was true. Everything.I kept trying to pin point what he meant.he was apologizing to ME. I would ask him, “what do you mean?” Were there other women? We’re there more? He said no. I would ask, “what do you mean?” And he would never fess up exactly what, he would just say,”everything”. I think I finally know what he meant. He cheated on me early in our marriage. As in the first month... then a few years later and I never knew. I had wanted out and told him if I had known that he had cheated, I would have left him long ago. I was miserably married and faithful because I thought at least he was faithful to me. I just remembered tonight that I had actually said that. THAT is why he felt guilty. He knew I would leave if I ever found out... so he didn’t tell me. It’s okay. It’s so strange. I feel there’s a reason for everything.
I actually feel better that HE felt guilty for lying to me. He feels so bad he cant say it in exact words that: he kept me in our relationship when he knew I was unhappy,if I had been happy that would have been different kind of heart ache. I was angry that I could have left him, but stayed out of loyalty. So maybe he is trying to be loyal now?

rottenrobi · 56-60, F

This is so relatable.

I feel bad for my ex sometimes, when I shouldn't feel anything at all.

SWisGoingWoke · M

@rottenrobi Yeah, being human is tough! 😉

rottenrobi · 56-60, F

@SWisGoingWoke This is one of those weird situations. I never expected it. I guess I'd rather be like this than bitter.
I'm over it, I wish he was too.

Nice to see you.

SWisGoingWoke · M

@rottenrobi 👍

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