I Am Divorced

If I was asked, "what is the closest you have come to death?" I would have to say the night my husband told me he didn't love me any more. The shock wasn't just emotional, it was physical too, like a knife going through me. The reason he didn't love me any more as I soon found out, was because he was in love with somebody else. We had two beautiful daughters he left heartbroken as well as me. But the strange thing is, it wasn't the prospect of being alone that was the problem, I couldn't eradicate the sense of loss. I wanted at one point to reboot my brain and start fresh, but I was constantly haunted. I live my life differently now. I don't even know if I could live with someone again. I have made a new life for myself which suits me, and I am thankful it has calm. But I can never assume that love will last again even if I do find someone, I would be too afraid to even look beyond summer. No matter what promises we make, the truth of today is all we have.