I Am Divorced

This morning I had my second last (I hope!) court proceedings held to settle the issues of my marital home. The gist of it was that my ex-husband does not want to compensate a single cent from the sale of my marital home and I am claiming at least 50% from it. So after the showdown by both lawyers today, I will only know the verdict in December. Waiting again. All this waiting game. I am starting to be unfazed by it.

Anyway, I had a glimpse of my ex-husband and my mother in law. I had the most strangest feelings about him now. It is funny how you had once lived everyday of your life sleeping and functioning daily with a partner and then we become strangers. Looking at him, it just felt like a dream. Years of memories all concise into a night's dream. So much sadness but relief that it is over as well. I wish we could just be civil but he chose to not have any form of communication with me and I guess it is best to give each other space because I am sure he hurts as well.

My mother in law too. We knew and met as friends and we were also travelling partners turned into family. Now she only texts me but in person, she does not speak to me.

I guess everyone is unhappy and heartbroken because I initiate this divorce.

What I write will not be enough to explain the mixed feelings inside. Probably I need a few days for my thoughts to sink in.

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PoetryNEmotion · F

Divorce involves a lot of waiting. I remember when I lived with the ex in the last year of the "marriage". I saw him as a stranger. It was strange. A man with whom I had spent 30 years. A man with whom I had a child. A complete stranger. Divorce is a grieving process no matter how much one wants to leave a union. I found the ex was brutal and mentally unraveling. Listen, girl. You initiated this divorce because it was the right thing for you. For your heart. For your soul. For your life. Doesn't matter what anyone thinks be they friend or family. You do what you think and you know are right for you. It is your life. And you must live it. Mixed feelings are perfectly normal. I knew I couldn't live that way until the day I left this earth. So my feelings weren't mixed. Take things slowly. Hold your ground. You shall get your half. Hold your head up high. And take care of yourself. I lost many mutual friends in the divorce. It is good they live far away. It was hard enough at a distance. You got this, girl. It will need more time. And you are moving forward well. I am so much happier now.

majesticsea · 31-35, F

@PoetryNEmotion This made me smile. It is the best words I've heard so far. A lot of times people don't get that I grief too even though I initiated it. I get comments like "Isn't this what you wanted?" But decisions are always hard to make whether you want it or not. I am definitely much happier now. Thank you. ❤

PoetryNEmotion · F

@majesticsea I am so glad to help you, girl. I understand. I am divorced 4.5 years now. Best decision I made concerning my relationship. I have an amazing son. And many valuable lessons learned. You need to smile more. And you shall, in time. Nothing tastes like Freedom. Especially from an unhappy marriage. You are most welcome. If you wish to pm me, do so. I have to go, but I will reply. Things will be severe for awhile. Those who love you still will remain close. Others vanish. You need only those who love you, girl. And you are far stronger than you know. *beams at you* :)

bamaboylick · 61-69, M

Give it time. I'm in the same position right now,just waiting on my final decree.

majesticsea · 31-35, F

@bamaboylick All the best.

bamaboylick · 61-69, M

@majesticsea thanks,all the best to you too. You are right it is sad but also wonderful to start living again

WeekendWarrior4 · 46-50, M

Hang in there, it will get better!

majesticsea · 31-35, F

@WeekendWarrior4 Yes it will. Thanks:)

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