Can we still be friends?

I just recently went through all of this I guess everyone's process is different. And I could never compare your experience to mine. But I can tell you this, you go through these phases denial, grief, anger, more grief Etc. It's how you choose your path when you're ready. In my case he has elderly parents who needed help and they were family and I don't have a single regret about reaching out to them in the last couple of years. In a way I guess I'm glad I wasn't that girl whether there's a piece of paper there or not, I still felt like their daughter and something I'm not even sure what, but still somewhat related to him. I didn't think that would be possible because of all the feelings. I know when the things that we have in common such as his parents are no longer here our relationship will fade. But that's just my story. Your situation may be different but I can say with time and Circumstance people change and feelings change. Especially if you have children. I cut him off for a while and now we are still somewhat family. I hope you're doing okay

Good for you! No more trying to prove yourself to someone who is closed off to your changes and progress

Maybe someday it’ll be different, but for now… take care of YOU

it’s very strong of you to acknowledge that and there’s no shame in having to step away 💖

Im sorry to hear......

My late ex husband and I lived together for 14 years... the few last years felt like a hell... no happiness.... We divorced.... for 6 months after our divorce, he tried to get us back together and I couldnt, until HE BROKE MY HEART like he didnt in our 14 years of marriage.... I asked him not to call me anymore and not pay me any visits.... it was a clean cut for 2 years ..... after two years we saw each other in a mutual friend's party... After that night we became best friends... He visited often .... We were there for each other, no matter what....Unfortunately, recently I lost him to cancer... His girlfriend who lives in Milan was here in his last weeks and after his funeral I asked him to stay with me in my home , every corner of which reminded us of him...

Honestly, it is possible only if you both understand that not the whole relationship was painful.... let go of all the bad parts and respect and appreciate all the good parts....

🤗🤗

I agree when you have too much history How can you be just friends.

I'll always find it extremely sad someone who once knew everything about you becomes nothing but a stranger again.

You should go to Hallmark and send that you know what a thank you card because She’s doing you a favor. Let her go and cut off all contact with her including email.

Have some self respect and carry yourself like a man. You would be surprised too she may even wonder why you stopped reaching out to her and she’ll begin being the one to contact you.

I really admire when exes are able to be amicable, but if what you say about her is true, it’s sounding like still being friends might not be feasible. I would personally find it maddening if she thought you could still be friends after saying nasty, hurtful things to you. That shows a lack of respect - that those were just nothing to her while not considering how they might make you feel.

I think you’re making the right call by not still remaining friends with her once it’s all said and done, but that’s all I’m gonna say on that. I’m sorry you’re going through a divorce and that your soon-to-be ex is only reinforcing why this divorce may be happening. I haven’t experienced a divorce (yet), but I understand how emotionally harrowing it must be.

Hope you can get through it okay and then look to greener pastures from then on. Good luck.

Well, moving on is the best and easiest way to keep the pain away. I moved on. Yes! It is is not easy but the sooner you accept the reality and move on, it is better.

My policy has always been, what's gone is long gone. It won't come back and I won't let it become a part of my life again even if it comes back.

God bless you...May you find happiness again.🙏

I feel for you man. Sometimes even if part of you wants to be friends, the parts that are still hurt or angry speak louder. Idk how she feels but yeah you're right for realizing it can't happen. At least not now. It's a tough thing to have to be that self aware sometimes & protect yourself when you didn't wanna have to.
Best of luck though brotha 🙏

My ex wife and I weren’t married as long as y’all were and we had two young kids at the time. Started out like y’all, let’s be friends, then took a good 5 years before we actually became friends. Varying factors contributed to it all. Message me if you have questions.

I find, as was the same with my case, that the offending party always wants to be “friends” and then acts in the most unfriendly way. My ex wanted to stay friends. Luckily for me I said it’s ok. I prefer to have a clean split if we’re going to split. Sounds as though mine didn’t get nearly as bad and I’m sorry it happened.

It’s time to take care of you now sweetheart and I think you’ve already been doing beautiful healing work with your time. Cheers and keep going hun. Welcome to being old and single, it’s gonna get weird 😆

Yeah divorce does hurt but you will not believe how peaceful and fun life is once the divorce is done.
Freedom comes back. No one harping you about junk.

Hang in there, it does get better.

It's possible but you both have to get through the emotions first. At this point it sounds like contact is toxic to both of your psyches. Put some time and distance between you.

I am so sorry my friend ….. this cannot be easy…… my heart breaks for you 😞
BIG hugs ❤️

It rarely works 😟 perhaps in a few years you both healed some.

[media=https://youtu.be/SuLGWVeD-qw] Listen to some of these and think how bad it could have been but no you need to step away from her and regain your pride go to the Gym

She can’t unilaterally decide you will be friends. That’s a two-way street.

With some you can't be friends.
Not enemies.

It's better to keep a good distance

The other side is amazing. Just get it over with. 👍🏻

No :( not rn at least

I’m sorry

😜

The day of my divorce becoming final, the ex walked out of the courthouse behind me and said we should get together soon for a grill out. I told him we got divorced for a reason. He seemed surprised by that.
A lot of water under the bridge!
I haven't seen or communicated with him in any way since then.... approximately 20 years.

I think it takes a long time to get there.

I am glad you are healing and doing things for yourself to be better 💖.