I Am a Mother of 2 Daughters

They have 3 year age gap between them. Sometimes I think it's more like a 10 year gap, the way in which they argue and sometimes come close to hitting each other. I really can not relate to this behavior because I have a sister whom I loved and nurtured with much care. We would have our little squabbles nothing that got out of hand where our parents would have to get involved. Today was the limit for me, watching them rolling on the flow throwing punches is not the way I wanted to see my kids behaving. Playing referee aggravated me to an extent where I also lost my senses by raising my voice and sending them of to their rooms. This leaves me with tears that I am failing some where in my parenting skills.

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resealableheart · 41-45, F

You aren't failing, kids fight. Me and my sister were arch enemies growing up. How old are they? When mine fight, I make them sit down and talk it out (usually after shouting at them to cut it out and losing my temper) until they can be civilised with each other again.

WildHeart · 41-45, F

They are 14 and 11. You should hear the insults that go back and forth. I hope this is just a phase

resealableheart · 41-45, F

Have you tried talking to them about why they do it?

WildHeart · 41-45, F

The older one thinks the younger one is jealous of her and she tries to copy the way she dresses, talks and even walks 😂😂😂 Aye! Kids are something else lol

Picklebobble · 56-60, M

Always hard to know what to do for the best.
Your kids are discovering their world.
And whilst your world is huge with knowledge; understanding; experience and figuring out what role you play within it, their world is much much smaller. And it doesn't take much for them to feel threatened within it !
It's always distressing to watch your own go at it. I always told mine that the world is full of people just itching for a fight ! All you have to do is catch their eye and that'll be enough !
They'll grow out of it. Once they each establish their own independence and begin to grow as individuals.
Try not to worry.

WildHeart · 41-45, F

Thank you! You give sound advice. Greatly appreciated.

Picklebobble · 56-60, M

@WiseGirl: I have three. All in their mid-late 20's.
Both the boys, have been at each other from the time they were 7-5. !!
Consequently it caused all kinds of aggro. And left me feeling like a cross between a referee and a jailer !! These days they are two very different people.
They have contact with each other and meet up occasionally, but they have their own lives.

MenzernaSF4000 · 36-40, M

If you compare your kids with anyone, you aren't going great. Treat them way they are and not compare them with anyone. Your time was and their time is different. Just my two cents.

WildHeart · 41-45, F

I wasn't trying to compare I'm just saying I can't relate. Maybe if I could then I would understand how to handle this situation.

MenzernaSF4000 · 36-40, M

🤔 oh ok then. Don't think them fighting is one time thing, they might fight again. You can't stop them from fighting, but if you can keep fighting to minimum, that will make you an awesome mom.

Gossamerwings · 70-79, F

You aren't failing , it sounds like a clash of personalities, it happens,not all siblings get on .Maybe as they get older they will learn to love and respect one another, mine did .

WildHeart · 41-45, F

I've heard this from my mom-inlaw. I'm hoping they grow up to love each other. I watch many siblings treating each other like rival enemies. No parent should live watch their kids hating each other when they are all grown up.

SW-User

You sound like my mom, she did the same when my twin brother and I were fighting 😅

WildHeart · 41-45, F

I try to be the opposite of my parents so raising my voice at them doesn't feel good in the least.

SW-User

@WiseGirl: You sound like a nice mom anyway 🙂👍

WildHeart · 41-45, F

@kingkyrie: Thank you 😃

polyandrym66 · 70-79, M

Teens are hard to control..

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