Struggles & Identity > Experiences

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Ah crap. Here’s a situation I can do without.

New neighbour, and they have a shitty looking dog that won’t stop barking and growling at my two girls when they go out to play in the garden, and now they’re afraid to go out when it’s out. The fence is keeping them apart but they’re quite young so it frightens them.

I thought I’d try get off in the right foot with the new guy so I went around, welcomed him to the street, answered a few questions about where local amenities are and then asked if he could do something about the dog going for the kids. I can tell he doesn’t think it’s an issue though, as a week is on it’s still happening. So as it’s my boundary I’m going to replace the lattice fence with 7 foot high panels I’ve been keeping in storage since the storms last winter. It’ll still bark and grow at them but hopefully if they can’t see each other one another they will get used to it and loose interest. It’s a pity because we really got on with the people before him.

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Yulianna · 22-25, F

you could try whacking the dog over the head with one of the panels. if the owner objects, whack him with another panel.

let your girls play free...

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Carazaa · F

@Yulianna You don't hit dogs, ever!

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

@Carazaa If you read the context of Yulianna's reply and know anything about her you can tell she was 💯% joking.

Carazaa · F

@KiwiBird Good to know! 🙂

ineedadrink · 51-55, M

It's probably not for nothing the saying "Good fences make good neighbors" exists.

WintaTheAngle · 41-45, M

@ineedadrink Yes you’re right. Like I said there used to be a great family there we spent a lot of time with. But now just a grumpy guy and a snappy dog.

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

Just remember a boundary fence is owned by you and the adjoining property owner. Does the guy with the dog own the place or rent?

You need to discuss the fence replacement with the adjoining owner. If the current fence keeps the dog off your property it is unlikely the owner would want to contribute anything financially to the replacement fence. If you are prepared to replace the fence at your cost you still need to discuss and agree to any changes.

You also need to ensure the replacement fence meets the requirements of the local council/authority. In some areas there are height restrictions. For example where I live the maximum height is 1.2 metres and anything higher than this needs council approval. 7 foot is 2.1336 metres so in my area I would need council approval.

Fences are one of the biggest causes of dispute between neighbours.

Good Luck. Would be great if your kids could play in peace.

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LordShadowfire ·

@KiwiBird I know, but if it's only a 6 inch strip of land, that's a small price to pay. But that's just my opinion.

KiwiBird · 36-40, F

@LordShadowfire I understand what you are saying. However therein lies a Catch 22 scenario. If you loose ownership of that strip of land then you are back to square one and common law rules come back into play.

LordShadowfire ·

@KiwiBird Ah, I see.

hartfire

Sorry you're having such hassles with your new neighbor.
The proposed new fence sounds very expensive.

There could be cheaper solutions if you have the time.
For instance you could train the dog to ignore you and your kids - which would have the added benefit of helping your little ones learn how to overcome fear.

Start by going out to play with them on the side of your yard furthest from the dogs. (You may need to be prepared for several hours with different games, snacks, drinks and story books.) Keep the kids attention focused on you and the games and instruct them to ignore the dog. Keep playing until the dog gets bored, relax, and start ignoring you. As soon as the dogs relax, that's you cue to go back inside if you wish.

Do this every day if you can, until you notice that the dog relaxes more quickly each time; then bring your games a foot or two closer and repeat until he/she relaxes.

If you keep this up, eventually the kids will be able to go out at anytime and play anywhere in their own yard.

WintaTheAngle · 41-45, M

@hartfire you’re absolutely right but it’s my neighbours dog. Not mine.

hartfire

@WintaTheAngle Yes, I realise that.

Your neighbor could help by getting his dog another dog as a companion, by taking him out for at least two long walks a day, and by giving him enrichment, toys and activities to keep him busy. But I doubt he would want the effort and expense. If he's that surly, he's probably quite antisocial - more of a loner that most doggie peeps.

You're actually the only one in a position to use desensitization-training to teach the dog to ignore your kids. You ignore the dog and work with the kids - which is your right.

My guess is that your neighbor is ignorant about dog psychology and would not be able to recognize your strategy.

WintaTheAngle · 41-45, M

@hartfire I’d say you’re on the money there.

deadgerbil · 22-25

Hopefully putting up that fence doesn't cause another issue. Some people will pick a bone over new fencing

WintaTheAngle · 41-45, M

@deadgerbil Yeah I thought of that, but it’s a boundary I’m responsible for the upkeep of so I can change them without him having any serious grievance. If he’d just train his dog not to do it it wouldn’t be necessary. On the plus side we’ll have more privacy from each other.

Minxxy8o · 41-45, F

Reads familiar 🤫

LordShadowfire ·

We had a neighbor with two dogs like that. They kept them behind a chain link fence, but they always barked and growled at me when I walked home from the bus stop. One day, one of them got out, and bit my dog on the ear. I tried to pull her away, and it ripped her ear even worse.

I have no idea whether my parents did anything to them about it, but those dogs never got out again.

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