I had an horrible night

It ended in an huge meltdown and I did the worst out of the whole club finically. And that’s not like me at all. I’m normally one of the top earners. I wasn’t into it mentally and hardly slept. I didn’t get to eat either and the Texas guy picked up on me not feeling well mentally and it didn’t end well 😭 all the girls heard and seen my meltdown because I was having it outside and my best friend was with me. It was absolutely Horrible and I’m beyond upset and embarrassed and heartbroken. Beyond able to put it into words. I’m on my period too and my mental health this week has been terrible. I don’t start therapy again until next month and I have no idea how to cope without it. I failed last night. Really failed. I never Ever want to have an meltdown like that again or worst. I can’t even describe the meltdown , my brain decided to replay loads of trauma all night so I just lost it. My best friend has an toddler and she triggered me because she reminded me of some of my trauma only because i have an lot of childhood trauma , by the way I don’t have anything against kids , I just sometimes get reminded of my trauma so it made me cry all night. I told my best friend about that and right now I’m not going back to her house until I’m well enough mentally. I feel horrible for telling her , and I will say it again I have NOTHING against the kid , it’s just my brain.