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Can you hook me up with Salma Hayek

FishBotThingM
No, but I can hook you up with Halma Sayek. She runs my local STD clinic. There isn't a crotch rot that she hasn't seen and inhaled the aroma of 馃憖
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@FishBotThing thanks but no thanks
She鈥檚 still as beautiful as ever.
Longpatrol31-35, M
@bijouxbroussard Her, Monica Belluci, Marion Cotillard, Cate Blanchett, Gina Torres all just become more gorgeous as the years pass
Longpatrol31-35, M
@Longpatrol honorary mention of the Queens: Angela Basset, Diane Keaton, Glenn Close and Helen Mirren
GuiltyBiStander31-35, F
@bijouxbroussard

*Dies*
*Reincarnates as oyster*
*Makes Salma pearl necklace*

馃槣
CountScrofula41-45, M
Sorry pal best I got is Sammy Hayek. Good news is he's down the block and will dance for a tuppence.
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@CountScrofula pass 馃槖
CountScrofula41-45, M
@UndercoverBard In this economy??
Degbeme70-79, M
I`m telling @DrScissorhands on you. 馃槧
Degbeme70-79, M
@UndercoverBard She`s 5'2" that has to be two feet taller than you.馃
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@Degbeme it鈥檚 not even half of one 馃槖

@DrScissorhands Don鈥檛 make me take that phone too 馃槕
GuiltyBiStander31-35, F
What?! Now I'm just your personal assistant???!!

I'm not pimping nobody but myself .
Degbeme70-79, M
Straylight31-35, F
She does owe me a favor.
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@Straylight savage
LostpoetM
@Straylight That movie wasn't that bad.
Straylight31-35, F
@Lostpoet Compared to a root canal maybe.
hunkalove61-69, M
Probably not. She said last time you gave her a pretty bad case of the crabs.
NerdyPotatoM
If you have her address, I have the tools.

@NerdyPotato My poor innocence... 馃槺馃槺馃槺
Captainjackass31-35, M
She could keep you like a little pet.
Ashly26-30, F

You鈥檙e hilarious 馃拃
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@Ashly why not?! 馃え馃え
Ashly26-30, F
@UndercoverBard oh papi, the list is too long
馃搵
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@Ashly you just don鈥檛 want us to be happy
TurtlePink22-25, F
Ooooh she鈥檚 hot!! She was in Grown-Ups. I got her mixed up with Sophia Vergara
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@TurtlePink yea so if you meet her you have to promise to hook me up
LostpoetM
馃would you settle for one of her cousins?
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@Lostpoet 馃
Ducky31-35, F
What about Michelle Rodriguez?
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@Ducky yes she鈥檇 do as well
XDHyperGirlXD131-35, F
I tried she said she doesn't like bard guys 馃憖
Sure! I鈥檒l give her a call.
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@Pinkstarburst thanks you鈥檙e the best
She has cooties, mister!!! 馃え馃え馃え
StraCat41-45, M
Never! She's mine! 馃槫
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@DarlingSelah me too. I got into art history because of the movie Frida
She麓s very married
Quimliqer70-79, M
Get in line!!
basilfawlty8931-35, M
Why, America Ferrera was already cast as Ugly Betty, you can't have the part.
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@basilfawlty89 馃え馃え
Shes on her way
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@V00doo I knew you鈥檇 have my back
empanadas31-35, M
She and me have that Lebanese thing going on but more than that i cant help you my friend. She got a billionaire husband
UndercoverBard31-35, M
@empanadas yea but Im a thousandaire
empanadas31-35, M
@UndercoverBard we all are at this point.
SamInAZ41-45, M
Nope. But I can hook you up with her sister, Amlas Keyah.
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