I don't know if I mentioned it on here but I was born with a hole in my headand my dad was in the Air Force and it's been rumoured that they may have put some secrets in there before I was healing up. I've always swaggered a little more with a sense of importance, knowing I might have something important stuffed in there....See More »
My dog is always telling me when to go to bed and insists on leading me when she gets familiar cues..but tonight I gave her a pork roast bone and she acts like I don't exist
I'm all alone and my 'pretend girlfriend' said she'd be gone for the weekendFriday Night Sucks Sometme
I Think I Might Be CrazyIs there a 20 question form that I can answer before I call the authorities? Cause maybe it's just my imagination
I'm having the same problem with my pets that I had with my girlfriend before she leftthey just don't seem to understand reason
I just signed up for a 10 week courseThis lady teacher is going to help me become a' Proper Guy.' I'm super stoked. I should be able to graduate just before 'Bikini Season'
four possible reasons why her mail didn't come:-She forgot to lick the stamp, it fell off and it's delayed... - nor'easter at the mail-box swirled and carried it away.. -She didn't even write it and just hopes I go away'... -or maybe she's taking time to think, bout what she wants to say, and...See More »
Security PersonnelShe said: HALT! 'Display Your Faults' Your Papers Before You Enter' Her Uniform So Crisp and Firm and me little to give Her So I said: 'They're all in bed' as I stared at boots of leather And the only truth I think I knew was that she'd hurt...See More »
Hear about the Canadian who opened the plane door while it was taxiing down the runway?-caused major disruption for passengers and backed up flights as it had to go back and refit the emergency inflatable stairs and gave us as a Country, a joke headline.
I wonder in the future if people will be able to google their whole life footage and see where turning points occured?
I never knew thatwhen I used to see someone in a movie about to have a baby sooner than expected and people would say 'get some some clean sheets and boil some water' I always assumed the water was for cleaning and sterilizing but my girlfriend laughed and said no,...See More »
If the 'electric chair' used in prison was designed by the guy who invented the lazy-boy recliner...I think things would have been running through a little faster by now
tomorrow I get my new prosthetic headit comes with a full head of hair, mouth with teeth and a nice smile; -and my eyes won't stare at a woman's breasts when she talks... I have to wear it for a week before they can do a final fit, but I am grateful I can be.. -the guy the world...See More »
Will Danny Masterson form an acting troupe in prison and along with fellow inmates perform episodes of 'That Seventies Show'?Do they still have Saturday Night entertainment in the big house auditorium?
Hi Tom Cruise, I know you're here, what is your username?You are a really good actor. And I also really love your ex-wife Nicole Kidman's work.
I hope I live foreverThe Government says I owe them, and I really wanna clear that debt. Plus I want to watch more youtube videos
Even my own ventriloquist dummy has filed a restraining order against me...and there's no reasoning with him and now I'm not even allowed to speak for him
If you picked up a guy hitch-hiking who really looked like Elvis...and he curled his lip and said ' thank you, thank you very much', in a way that you imagined..and then asked to borrow five dollars to make a record for his mamma...would you not be overly stimulated? Cause you still don't know where you're...See More »
I wonder how Steven from That 70's Show is making out in the California State Prison?I wonder what he talks to his cell-mate about? Scientology? Girls? Hollywood? Dating with drugs?
I really wish relationships were more like professional tennisno matter how bad you lose, you get to start with love each...🤗 and somewhere in the match you get to serve with 'new balls'