Cosmic justiceBack in the mid-1960s, in an English country pub, a man sat quietly enjoying a pint of Timothy Taylor Landlord (an excellent English ale). All of a sudden, a bunch of noisy yobs came into the pub and ordered lager. The mouthiest of the bunch walked...See More »
Five Random Shorties1. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there, I noticed four grave diggers walking around with a coffin. Three hours later and they're still pacing with it. I thought to myself, "They've literally lost...See More »
Monkey BusinessOnce upon a time a man told a small village, “I will buy monkeys for $10 each.” Since there were many monkeys in the forest, the villagers caught them and sold them to the man. As the supply of monkeys diminished, the villagers’ efforts slowed, so th...See More »
The New Priest A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions,then the old priest asks him to...See More »
Satin’s feeling laid-back and relaxed, but then…….A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the exits, trampling each other in a...See More »
On holding a grudgeI once held a grudge and it lasted almost a year. Whenever I thought about it, I became depressed and angry. It is most likely the only time in my life I have felt depressed. Did my grudge have any affect on the person it was directed at? The short...See More »
On The lighter Side . . .Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite...See More »
Whoops………….Realised I had to use the bathroom. Got up and walked across the house, to the pantry. Couldn't remember why I was in the pantry. remembered I had to use the bathroom. Walked across the house to the bathroom. Sitting on the throne I remembered why I...See More »
He's My BrotherTwo young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what...See More »
Just Horsing AroundA woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers, her condition is said to be stable. Rein in the hilarity. We don't want anyone laughing themselves hoarse. Not entirely sure how the company she bought it from is going to get...See More »
Shaggy dog story alertThis guy should be sacked: A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade....See More »
A visit to the local MosqueThe other day a local mosque opened its doors and invited non-Muslims to visit in the spirit of their faith's willingness to be open and welcoming. So, I too decided to go to a mosque for the first time to see what it was all about. Lakemba has a l...See More »
Reported by a teacherRetarded Grandparents After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils to write an essay on how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They...See More »
Vacation time again!Another old chestnut! Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Yawl know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where...See More »
Potty TrainingI loved this so I just had to share it. My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room....See More »
Very funny, if in fact trueIt happened at a New York Airport. I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly...See More »
Three men are training to be Vladimir Putin's bodyguardsThe training course is exhausting and incredibly challenging. On their last day of training, the instructor separates the three and and puts them in separate rooms, calling them one by one into the Presidential hallway. "Sergeant Andreyev, come into...See More »
Father Christmas, did God make you?A little girl is sitting on her Father Christmas’s knee and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks,...See More »
A Christmas dinner that will live forever in the memories of those present.I saw this and I suspected it was a true story. My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbour who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned...See More »
A Good Laugh Christmas storyA truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. They were not showing the spirit of Christmas. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger...See More »
Shifting your car for the Snow PloughNow This Can Be A Serious Problem ***** On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your...See More »
The DEA’s Farm InspectionA DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday, he said “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.” I said “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the...See More »
Four funny short jokes"Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst." "My senior relatives...See More »
Johnny’s Overnight StayJohnny went to his friend's house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a single room, so he said, "You can sleep on the floor in the living room, or you can sleep in the room with Baby."...See More »