I Am Native American (mohawk)

STUPID INDIANS?
Of my three daughters, Renee always seemed to be the most rebellious. She seemed to delight in being contrary, and to my dismay she still is, even as a grown woman.
She was about fourteen at the time, and somehow developed a very annoying attitude of racial prejudice—I think from some of the friends she frequented.
She was watching tv in the living room while her sister Jessica busied herself at the computer, and I was sitting in my easy chair reading.
Renee was watching a movie about cowboys and Indians, but I forget which one. At any rate, she suddenly looked away from the screen and commented, "Boy, I’m glad I’m not an Indian. Who would want to be a stupid Indian anyway?”
I looked at Jessica, who in turn looked at me with a knowing smirk on her face, because she knew something that obviously Renee did not.
I broke the silence. “Renee,” I said, “did you know you’re part Mohawk?”
“[i]What[/i]?!” Renee gasped.
“It’s true, Renee,” Jessica said. “I guess Mom didn’t tell you.”
Renee said, “I thought I was Italian.”
“You are,” I said. "But you’re also a lot of other things, including Mohawk. So how stupid do you feel now? Any more than you did a minute ago?”
“But how did that happen?” asked Renee.


I explained, “About two hundred years ago one of our ancestors married a Mohawk girl, and the blood line carried right down to you. And by the way, I wouldn’t call Indians stupid if I were you. They developed things that you probably couldn’t live without.”
“Yeah, like what?” Renee asked with a tone of skepticism.
“Well,” I began, “you say you’re Italian, and I know you like sauce on your pasta. Who do you think gave us tomatoes?”
Renee still looked skeptical.
“You like popcorn?” I continued. “You like potato chips? How about vanilla ice cream?”
“Oh Mom,” Renee scoffed. “Don’t tell me the Indians invented ice cream!”
“No they didn’t,” I admitted, “but they gave us the vanilla bean.
“And don’t forget,” I continued, “if it weren’t for Indians the Pilgrims would have starved to death that first winter. The Indians taught them how to fertilize the soil and plant crops like corn and beans.”
Renee was beginning to ponder this news.
I continued, “And remember, as far as Mohawks were concerned, they were master engineers when it came to constructing the longhouse. They utilized the natural placement of trees to their advantage, using them as framework for shelter. By the way, inside the longhouses they built sleeping quarters that held several families—so they also invented bunk beds!”


“I didn’t know that,” Renee admitted.
“In fact,” I went on, “you probably couldn’t get through the day without using something that the Indians gave us. So instead of putting down your Mohawk heritage, you should be proud of it.”
So Renee had enough information to ponder, and I’m sure she learned to view Native Americans as more than ignorant savages who scalped settlers.
But I do admit that there was one invention of the American Indians that I certainly could have done without.
They also invented the enema.