I Am Depressed More Than People Realize
Nobody knows it, but a secret few. I hide my pain behind a smile and rage.
When I don't want to go somewhere, I stare reasons. To other people they're excuses. I'm never believed, but maybe it's my fault for crying wolf. Don't judge me, I didn't cry wolf for fun or attention. I often said I was "sick" to get out of school – not because it was boring, but to escape the bullies. And now when I am sick or hurt it's all lies and excuses.
My sister wants me to go to the mall today for four to five hours. I told her my ankle hurts (I irrationally jumped out of my window after I felt angry and sad) nope, that's an excuse. Maybe if she could see the pain or feel it, it wouldn't look like I was lying.
I want to cry and scream, but I'll just put my mask on and blend into the world.
When I don't want to go somewhere, I stare reasons. To other people they're excuses. I'm never believed, but maybe it's my fault for crying wolf. Don't judge me, I didn't cry wolf for fun or attention. I often said I was "sick" to get out of school – not because it was boring, but to escape the bullies. And now when I am sick or hurt it's all lies and excuses.
My sister wants me to go to the mall today for four to five hours. I told her my ankle hurts (I irrationally jumped out of my window after I felt angry and sad) nope, that's an excuse. Maybe if she could see the pain or feel it, it wouldn't look like I was lying.
I want to cry and scream, but I'll just put my mask on and blend into the world.
26-30, F
