I Am An Introvert

People discuss the weather because it is something they know they will have in common with someone they don't know or don't know well. Small talk is a way people check out strangers before they become friends. Small talk allows two people to feel comfortable with each other while observing facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and many other things that tell them, often better than in specific words, what a person is all about. Small talk is not "small" at all. It allows people to decide if they want to proceed to the raw version of you. It filters people for each other allowing a certain amount of basic knowledge to pass between them before both people risk rejection with greater intimacy.

i don't know any other way to be when i think of a version of myself that gets out and talks to people and is really bubbly i just think it would be way too much forcing and faking

Did you ever find yourself separating your social life from your family one? As in only seeing school 'friends' at school and not mixing them with family. That was something I felt strongly about growing up. Outside school was my private life. I didn't want it mixing.

Some things you don't want to know