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i want a partner who is also my best friend

i feel like lover has negative or positive connotations depending on how u look at it but i’ve always felt comforted by this trope when reading fiction. it feels like the most authentic process to falling in love. u start out loving each other for ur personalities and as ur friendship grows maybe feelings do as well but the process seems natural and not forced. there’s no expectations in the beginning. once in a relationship you already have the comfort of knowing ur partner and know some of their flaws and quirks that the relationship is heartfelt and feels easy. although that may also be me romanticizing this as i’m sure this type of relationship comes with its own set of problems (getting out of the “friendzone”, being too comfortable?) just seems like the best way to fall in love.
Abstraction · 61-69, M
You're wisely trying to avoid the trap of falling for someone without a solid base for connection. What you describe is one way - but you should always look before you fall. Part of it is knowing what to look for.

In my posts I included the one talk I made sure I had with my daughter about how to pick a guy.
newdawnnewday · 22-25, F
@Abstraction Thank you! I’ll check it out ☺️
Dan193 · 26-30, M
No, I tried it and once u friendzone them, it's hard to see them romantically again. Best is to date and then build a friendship while dating.
newdawnnewday · 22-25, F
@Dan193 that’s valid. i can see how that can put a barrier between ya guys. maybe if i had a crush on them since u were friends that metal barrier wouldn’t be there
Dan193 · 26-30, M
@newdawnnewday yeah, having a crush on them is good, but try not to friendzone them. Because even a crush fades away.
Agreed a lot. How can you build a relationship when you don't even start out liking each other first? Just jump into dating. It makes no sense.
newdawnnewday · 22-25, F
@canusernamebemyusername seems very difficult and idk the intentions seem off too. i would always be wary of what the person wants from me bc i don’t truly know them but rather the person they want me to know
@newdawnnewday Someone would be lucky to be with you though. You are already an awesome friend🤗
Paintedfox · 36-40, F
I agree. It seems common for people to flip out for each other and lose their own identity. An end is eminent. Being friends first sounds lovely. Slow and lovely.
newdawnnewday · 22-25, F
@Paintedfox Right! that was my idea as well.
LeoWulf · 36-40, M
A partner in a relationship is always supposed to be a best friend and confidant.
newdawnnewday · 22-25, F
@LeoWulf that’s true. ig the question is did they always start out that way or did it develop from the relationship?
LeoWulf · 36-40, M
@newdawnnewday Much better if it develops from a relationship. Happens to be more stronger compared to Best friend --> partner
What do you think?
newdawnnewday · 22-25, F
@LeoWulf I’ve never experienced it so you may be right. i’ve always thought the best friend to partner would be stronger bc u have a better foundation to build off of.
I was in that mindset too when I was in highschool. Doesn't matter to me now how it starts. And probably because I don't have as many friends now as I did, it doesn't happen that way with me.
Very well put.

 
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