Good times even when it's bad... [I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings]

My childhood was far from ideal, at times it seemed I was destined to live a life of pain and suffering. When I feel especially low and can only think negative thoughts I like to reminisce about those good times in my past, as far and in between as they may have been. Something that I always remember vividly from my childhood were the times spent with my older sister. My sister and I are fifteen years apart in age so it wasn't the usually sibling dynamic, she often felt more like a mother to me or aunt if that makes sense. At the peak of my abuse from my mothers husband my sister was in her early twenties living at home. She was into the goth and punk scene back then and was hardly ever home. On rare occasions when she'd be getting all laced up in her big, what looked like to me, Victorian type ball gown, all black of course, thigh high black laced boots and make-up to match she'd look down at me into my little six year old eyes and say, "Wanna go?". I'm sure till this day my mom has no idea that I went out with my sister, my mom worked double, even triple shifts and was hardly ever home either. I loved escaping with my sister from my home at night, getting into a beater car, some old school lemon yellow Volvo, packed with her friends all dressed up in spikes and leather. They all were so sweet to me and never gave her shit when she brought me a long. We'd drive to what was called 'the drag' in downtown Austin, not exactly kid friendly at night, we'd go to arcades and comic book shops my sister frequented. I felt most loved and safe at those times ironically. Unfortunately a lot has happened between me and my sister, both of us suffered abuse as children from my mother's partners and our relationship has been volatile. I still look back at those memories fondly though and I'm grateful she thought of me at those times, unknowingly giving me a small amount of peace and happiness.