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I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings

Core Beliefs

I've never done this before, this is just an exercise

The last person from my high school i saw a ways after being in school a guidance counsellor at Starbucks looked at the book i just purchased and opined generally about core beliefs, just that little moment has stuck with me for a long time, like what the heck do i believe, do i believe anything, is everything for me all just in flux, well let's see here

1. There is a variety of ways to look at any and everything, i depersonalize often and toss it around a bit, and come to a temporary conclusion, the Hegelian manner in action, i hate Hegel's writing though.

2. My heritage is incredibly influential, i quasi subscribe to the reformed doctrines, there are bits and pieces of Christendom that are an aid, but nothing in existence is something i wholly accept.

3. Reality and magic are intertwined, i find wonder in the commonplace, i stay put for the most part, but from a distance i love being enchanted by what is.

4. Reaffirming a positive viewpoint is often i find a result of appreciating a negative, the flipside happens when the other side is employed.

5. There is too much to learn, it can be daunting, but like an idiot i proceed while physically i continue not exerting myself too much.

6. The living pulsating truth is always in the now.

7. I love people, i know that evil exists, evil as well as good works in mysterious ways, a shred of gnosticism here.

8. My spirit season is autumn, when nature dies, my fully fledged being is in permanent slumber, i shall awake when i die, with my puny reflexive mind, death is the end, i live with a smile, a deep smile when i see that, that there will be an end. No heaven, no hell, just absolute nothingness, if there is an afterlife, our human minds cannot fathom it.

9. Intense love includes intense hate also, there is a part in an 1888 work by Nietzsche about Wagner that explains this, i choose not to subject any other person to intense love, i reserve it for myself alone, because i do not mind hurting myself, i will never hurt another person again, i swear this most solemnly, my only regret in life is hurting another person. I can live with myself only because i've made this choice.
I appreciate a negative and hope it leads to something good. I wanted a shop clerk to love me instead of (just) take my money and needless to say I can't shop there again. It was sad of me and wrong of her.

But I started it.
SW-User
How dreadful it would be if there were nothing left to learn.
SW-User
@Mamapolo2016 Indeed, i think if any human thought they knew everything would be stuck in a dreary delusional void.
Impressive.
I'd be uncomfortable living with this many ambiguities, but I think most of it reflects the truth of things a lot better than most certainties.

The bit I like best: "The living pulsating truth is always in the now."

I'd be interested to know the story of your relationship with the person you regret having hurt.
SW-User
@hartfire There's a point where it is finished and all there can and will ever be is friendliness, i like that and suits me perfectly, ....more doable to communicate well when not too entwined in it all, to retain distance which helps perspective, see what those who look too closely miss. :)
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@SW-User you do sentence-poetry. I notice stuff like that.
Beliefs come from experience only.
@SW-User never changed accounts, only the name again and the pics often

welcome back to you both
SW-User
@Elevatorpitches Thank you, welcome home! 🤗
@SW-User hey Britebirdy!!🦩
You sure have a lovely way with language I enjoyed reading this.
SW-User
@Grateful4you Kind of you :)
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SW-User
@waleskinder Very hopeful sentiment :)
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Carazaa · F
Thanks for sharing!
Ugh.... The conundrum of polarities!

I find this too.
There is just so much to fathom, one has to be selective in what one chooses to learn...

...tje annoying factor of remembering all the useless stuff like why giraffes have spots, but not the fundamentals of the atom. Knowing that I'm going to change my mind again and again and again - yet still juggling what I already believe.

ARGGGGGHHHHHH!😱
SW-User
@OogieBoogie The mind is amazing, it can be both enjoyed and leave us deflated, we get carried away, fall down, but always come back 🤗
@SW-User and the weird thing... To be out of your mind - you have have to be tangled up in it...

.... I'm sure gods a comedian 😁
SW-User
@OogieBoogie Divine is the last laugh 😇

 
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