I'm Always An Option, Never A Priority
A father, born to nurture and protect his offspring....a father never in her eyes.
Time and time again always an option when medical attention is needed, when help is required, but never a priority. I watched this proud haughty man through life rail against a compassionate, kind soul, my mother, who unconditionally tended to his demands. As sickness took hold of her, she continued this daily ritual of tending to this man until one day she was gone.
An option she was, never placed on a pedestal, never honored or revered. Now it is my turn....an only child am I, what should be the apple of my father's eye is now not even a priority. I watched as he took up with this woman, fake and plastic and soon it was apparent what place she had on his priority list. Never a visit did they take to my home, always an excuse....but they managed to find a way to the quasi step child of this woman who lived a mere five minutes from me.
Christmas and Thanksgiving was never celebrated with me again, her family was his priority. As I looked upon this man today as he celebrated 90 years of life, I see a mere flicker of light in his eyes. Still arrogant and demanding, as if holding court, I saw him as the court jester, the fool that he truly was. In a few short years, hopefully, he will be gone. When he stands at the judgment seat, his priority will be last, for he did not honor what he was supposed to cherish. He will be nothing but an option that will be discarded and cast out. But for now, he does not even appear on my priority list...and never will.
Is it any wonder that any man I meet, I ask the same questions, am I missed, am I thought of.....I am gauging my priority level, for one day I will hear, you are first and my only priority. One can dream....
Time and time again always an option when medical attention is needed, when help is required, but never a priority. I watched this proud haughty man through life rail against a compassionate, kind soul, my mother, who unconditionally tended to his demands. As sickness took hold of her, she continued this daily ritual of tending to this man until one day she was gone.
An option she was, never placed on a pedestal, never honored or revered. Now it is my turn....an only child am I, what should be the apple of my father's eye is now not even a priority. I watched as he took up with this woman, fake and plastic and soon it was apparent what place she had on his priority list. Never a visit did they take to my home, always an excuse....but they managed to find a way to the quasi step child of this woman who lived a mere five minutes from me.
Christmas and Thanksgiving was never celebrated with me again, her family was his priority. As I looked upon this man today as he celebrated 90 years of life, I see a mere flicker of light in his eyes. Still arrogant and demanding, as if holding court, I saw him as the court jester, the fool that he truly was. In a few short years, hopefully, he will be gone. When he stands at the judgment seat, his priority will be last, for he did not honor what he was supposed to cherish. He will be nothing but an option that will be discarded and cast out. But for now, he does not even appear on my priority list...and never will.
Is it any wonder that any man I meet, I ask the same questions, am I missed, am I thought of.....I am gauging my priority level, for one day I will hear, you are first and my only priority. One can dream....