I Hate My Life
I'm very depressed because the law told me that I can't have a social media page and I have nowhere to express my feelings and the people at the hospital (my psychiatrist and social worker) spite me for my foster mother and they medicate me more when she complains about me and they encourage me to stay home and collect disability money when my foster mother who is a Hindu from India has her Russian boyfriend's family sexually abusing me and drugging me to get more mental illnesses each day that I live and they use my disability money from a mental illness that they gave to me and the hospital doesn't listen to me, they left me to continue to get used and abused and this is why I went online on social media and said that I wanted to walk into a school with a fake toy gun that looked real so that the police can shoot me down becausy foster mother's Russian boyfriend's family made me pregnant via online sperm donor and I have a whole lot of movement in my stomach with a negative pregnancy test, and I somehow still feel like I need for the police to shoot me down because I'm scared that my foster mother's Russian boyfriend's family are going to come in and molest and rape my babies when they're born while I'm having seizures and I don't want my babies to get raped because the Russians have listening devices and I cannot go into a shelter because the Russians will follow me there and have me kicked out so that they could abduct me and force me to be a Gigolo for all the Hindu teenage girls from India that they'll adopt because my foster mother who is a Hindu from India lied to this psychopathic Russian family and told them that I was a product of a Black man raping her...
The next thing is that I usually write commendations for all the Caucasian MTA bus drivers, but not the Black ones because they're much friendlier and I'm starting to think that the other bus drivers are finding out about my commendations when the law told me NOT to write on social media which is royally fucking me up and it is tempting me very much...I feel like if I don't open up a social media page, none of the Black MTA bus drivers would ever know how serious I am about meeting a homeless black man in a shelter when I get out of my situation with my foster mother and her Russian boyfriend's family and starting a life with him because he meets my standards and he is Black like me. I met a White guy on the train last Friday, but he's been taking me on an emotional roller coaster ride. He asked me for my number, but I think he wants to use me because he wouldn't ask me out because I'm Black and not a Hindu from India. He must think I'm submissive. I'm so close to deleting his fucking number because I'm tired of playing phone tag with him. He's a waste of time and I know why...I'm so emotionally exhausted that I'm becoming later and later for work each day since this guy. So fed up.
The next thing is that I usually write commendations for all the Caucasian MTA bus drivers, but not the Black ones because they're much friendlier and I'm starting to think that the other bus drivers are finding out about my commendations when the law told me NOT to write on social media which is royally fucking me up and it is tempting me very much...I feel like if I don't open up a social media page, none of the Black MTA bus drivers would ever know how serious I am about meeting a homeless black man in a shelter when I get out of my situation with my foster mother and her Russian boyfriend's family and starting a life with him because he meets my standards and he is Black like me. I met a White guy on the train last Friday, but he's been taking me on an emotional roller coaster ride. He asked me for my number, but I think he wants to use me because he wouldn't ask me out because I'm Black and not a Hindu from India. He must think I'm submissive. I'm so close to deleting his fucking number because I'm tired of playing phone tag with him. He's a waste of time and I know why...I'm so emotionally exhausted that I'm becoming later and later for work each day since this guy. So fed up.
