I Have Anxiety

Ok so i live in a little town in the middle of England and have to travel 5 days a week to university. University is good and everything but i get panic attacks every time i get on a train to go back home. I cant move nearer the university because my daughter has finally settled here but I swear its getting harder and harder not to jump out in front of a train just as a reason not to come back to this toxic place. The only reason why i dont live out that daily fantasy is because of her, unfortunately she also ends up taking most of the repercussions of the panic attacks.

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Fatjosh69 · 36-40, M

Before anything bad happens talk to a therapist about your thoughts. You owe it to your little girl.

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Fatjosh69 · 36-40, M

I realize you're busy but make your daughter your top priority. You need to live so she has a good role model....seeing you working hard for a better life will make hers worthwhile.

Skelepop666 · 36-40, F

Why do you think i havent done anything drastic. Why i am putting myself through added stress of a degree for a decent job and place to live instead of settling for a council place and benefits?
Doesnt make it any easier to handle this place though.

Carissimi · 70-79, F

@Skele-pop666: People mean well but don't understand because they are not in your shoes.

You have grit to do what you are doing. I've been where you are, although the area I lived was very nice, but I have lived in places that were not condusive to my wellbeing, so I get that too.

I wish you continued courage and strength. I went through 25-years of unbearable stress and distress. I'm surprised I'm still here. Just do what you have to, knowing it's only temporary, and you'll be able to move eventually.

Be well.

Carissimi · 70-79, F

What is it about the place that has you calling it toxic? Have you consulted a mental health professional? I think the university would have counselors too.

Skelepop666 · 36-40, F

A bit of everything. So much stuff has happened to me here its unbelievable. Just need a fresh start.
University councillors cant really help me. Found it impossible to keep appointments with my other councillor juggling responsibilities with my kid, university work and part time job.

pato72 · 26-30, M

Are you married right now?

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pato72 · 26-30, M

I guess then you have to move unless you don't have enough money.

Skelepop666 · 36-40, F

I dont have enough money to move and she has friends here (plus my family get on with her). Thats why i am doing the degree. To get a job, save up and move but i have to wait another 6 years. Then she will be 18 and can decide what she wants to do

pato72 · 26-30, M

@Skele-pop666: I am sure you can do it. Plus, I would recommend you to have a freelancer job. It's so helpful in such situations. And you have us here, I wish if I could be there and help ,but it's life :)

Unlearn · 41-45, M

It's all in your mind and subconscious...

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