I Have a Confession

I have been going through some of the worst days in my life and these dark clouds don't seem to have a silver lining, at least in my case.

I really want to feel loved. I want to be cared for, again. The feeling has grown quite alien to me.

This ghost of loneliness and indifference seems to keep haunting me and i have lost all belief in myself.

From tomorrow onwards, i will try to get back to bodybuilding. I used to do it in college and it used to be the only thing on my mind back then.
I have lost all interest in it now, however i think going to the gym is where i can start to get back to myself. Besides physical changes, hopefully it will provide me with a sense of belonging and will give me something to love, something to possess over and something to call my own, again.

I know that times change and that it's the darkest before sunrise. I don't want to give in to my depression. I will take one thing at a time. Gym, it is for now. Hopefully the calmness and stability that it'll provide me will take me to a new tomorrow where I won't just have a desperate want for happiness but i will actually be happy.

Also, i would love to start writing again. The words might not flow at first, but i will keep on trying and nudging at it until i can start liking my own work and maybe my ownself.