I Have a Confession

All my adult life I have fallen in love with foreigner women mostly due to my work environment. Deep down I hope that they choose to stay with me in my country and make an honest man out of me or secretly wish they would invite me into their country and start a new life with me there. Lately this behaviour and pattern in my life has gotten me into depression and drinking myself into the oblivious. I want to stop doing this to myself but I am in too deep and hardly sober enough to make right decisions.