I Have a Confession

I feel like I lie to everybody I know. My friends, family, and even strangers have this image of me, but it’s not who I actually am. Everybody thinks I’m smarter, prettier, nicer, and overall better than I actually am.

I bullshit my way through school and I struggle to maintain my grades. I cake makeup on my face to feel somewhat pretty but I know that I’m still ugly. No matter how many acts of kindness I do, I can never take back all the shitty things I’ve done. I can never shake the thought that I am a bad, ugly person.

I’m not who everybody sees me as or wants me to be. I don’t feel like a good or smart person. I’ve tried to tell people who I really am but they don’t believe me. They insist that I’m smart, nice, and pretty. But they have no idea that their image of me couldn’t be further from who I actually am. I’ve considered the possibly that they’re lying to me out of pity because they see behind the mask, but in reality I’m very good at hiding. Turns out, I’m the one that’s lying. They only compliment the person they think they know.