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I Am a Closeted Gay

I wrote this poem as a release for myself, but if it can help just one person on here, I'd be happy. This just came to me at 3am in the morning waking me out of my sleep. I hope everyone enjoys it. I've only let a select few read it, I'm pretty apprehensive when it comes to my poetry.

A Question of Love,

I can't change who I am,
no matter what I do.
I've been trying so hard,
until in the face I turn blue.
I'm happy being myself,
not caring what others think.
No longer will I put on a charade,
your Kool-Aid I'll no longer drink.
Please don't tell me what my heart should feel,
don't tell me whom I can think of.
It's not a question of straight or gay,
but just a question of love.
So please don't treat me any different,
I'm the same person I've always been.
I'm just sick and tired of being sad and lonely,
hiding behind a fake wide grin.
So if I find someone who makes me happy,
and he makes me feel so damn good.
Don't judge me if you don't like it,
because if it was you I never would.
I'd be happy you had someone in your life,
regardless of whom it may be.
As long as your content I'd handle it,
now be noble enough to do it for me.
I don't need no major announcement,
don't need no coming out party.
That's not who I am,
the attention isn't for me.
This is just me finding a special someone,
So go ahead and choose your side.
I hope you'll stand with me,
this secret I can no longer hide.
But if you think this is wrong,
then I will respect your opinion.
But when there's true love at stake,
how can it be considered a sin?
If you can't take me in his life,
then you are out of mine.
Because I need people to lean on,
not those that undermine.
I won't put any labels on myself,
especially when he fits me like a glove.
Because to me it's not about categorizing,
it's about a question of love.
landhoee
That was literally what I needed to read, word for word. I'm going through a friendship ending solely because the guy found out that I was gay. This really helped me see that some people are so shallow that they will never see things in a manner of love, but just by gender. And those are the people you are better off without in life. This is beautiful, thank you for posting it and I'm so glad I came across it!
patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M
It's great that you have that much strength to realize what an ass he was. Once he goes out into the real world he'll realize how narrow minded he was to you. I've told one friend that I am gay and she was totally supportive about it. I really don't have that many guy friends so I don't worry about what happened to you will happen to me. I worry more about losing my family.

If you ever feel like talking feel free to email me here privately.
landhoee
Well thank you so much! You're already a lot of help. If I need anything I'll def let you be the first to know!
patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M
Good :)
mjldoc
Good for you! what a beautifull way to express yourself! I am still closeted, but with the man whom I will love, FOR EVER!!
patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M
Feel free to email me here since we both have friended one another.
steverick
I will bro.
TexasTbob
YOU might not think there are many guys...like you,around,but being on the heavy side of my 60's,(and gay for every year),I swear that I am meeting more of "y'all" nearly every time I sign on here,and glad to see so many of you are finally realizing your "true selves",and learning to live and enjoy the fact.
macyymayy
I love your poem! I wish more peoppe could see it. I was wondering if I could get permission to use it... MSG me please!
macyymayy
Well one of my main goals in life is to promote acceptance and stuff within society. So i have come up with a plan for acceptance. I decided that if maybe there weren't negative connotations added to the words gay, lesbian, bisexual, confused that maybe people wouldn't have such a big issue with then. So like the rainbow symbol for gay pride, we decided to create a symbol that simply stands for love between two people. And I am an artist so I created rainbowfish. Well the koi fish often stands for love and in this case the colors stand for who you are. All of your aspects. So I have decided to write a story that will encourage acceptance. And at the beginning of each chapter I am going to have quotes, anecdotes, paragraphs, just individuals words about their thoughts, experiences, and feelings with their sexuality, hoping that by using actual thoughts, feeling, and experiences, maybe we could make an impact. And I was wondering if I could possibly use your poem as one? Credited towards you of course
patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M
That is a really great idea. Sure you can use it. I just want to be able to help as many people as I can that feel as hopeless, confused and lost as I did/do. Good luck to you on that.
macyymayy
Thanks!!!
steverick
I am right there with you. Gay. Me married. Sad a lot. Wish I'd came out as a teen but back then it would have been tough. God bless.
patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M
I can understand your situation. It was a different time back then. But you deserve to be happy and with me I'm currently a work in progress. You just have to be and love yourself. I just hope you can be happy in your life. Just have to be strong. But it must be so hard on you living all this time so sad. I hope the best for you and god bless you as well.
steverick
Thanks Brady. Your note means a lot. Funny as I type this in bed with my wife feet away and oblivious. In another life and time perhaps we could have met. I wish you well as did you me. May you find peace and happiness before too long. It wears you down yes a lot. I truly wish I could tell my wife but my house of cards would fall down like my favorite Elton John song Candle in the Wind. Peace my friend and all the best this life can bring you. In my case I can only hope and do pray there is another here after that I qualify for.
patriotsrule1203 · 41-45, M
I also hope that you can find yourself some peace and happiness in your difficult situation.
jon22
That's beltin it really is. Be proud of ya self for hat c
Wrathes
Great poem. A very simple one also lol
sinkass
It gets better :-)

 
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