I Have a Broken Family

I remember the times where I loved my life so much, it was perfect, I had everything I wanted, a family, best friend/friends, stuff... But after my dad became an alcoholic the family simply started tearing apart, there was nothing I could do nor any way to stop it.. I wish it stopped I really did because now it's the biggest thing I miss.. It's a thing that broke me the most... First my brother left me, then my parents left me, then my grandpa left me without a choice then my pets left me without a choice... Everything is just falling apart so quickly.. How to feel when having everything you once had and loved just broken and taken away, what do you do then...

Now every day every night, only the thoughts of talking to someone from my family or being all together once again is killing me slowly because deep inside I know it's so impossible, I want to live in the past but at the same time I want to leave it and I just can't...