I Feel That I've Wasted Enough Time

Yesterday and today were such a fail.
I wasted both days trying to get in touch with my best friend. I really thought it would help. But I only wasted more time trying to get in contact. :( it's not her fault either. Our timings just don't seem to match up. But I'm just mad at myself for being naive and thinking that this would work out. I'm mad at myself for relying on our plan too much and waiting for hours doing absolutely nothing.
I've lost my tempo again. Now we've planned a study session for tomorrow. I don't know how much we will be able to cover. I'm panicking already. I'm running out of time. I have dreams but nog enough mental health go achieve them on my own.
I know she has dreams too and life is getting in the way.
I just wish she was here instead of miles away. She has such calm energy. She could make me feel better in an instance.
:(