I Am a Hockey Fan

Today is a very happy day. Do you know why it is a happy day? Because today marks the end of the NHL regular season. Now that each of the 30 teams have played all 82 of their regular season games, the playoff brackets are finalized. And do you know who's not in that playoff picture? That's right! Everyone's least favorite franchise, a team full of only the most undeserving shit-worthless geriatric mongoloid scumbags, the Detroit Redwings! So to all the Wings players, coaching staff, management, owners, and most importantly to the fans, I hope you have a fun off-season rockin' the golf course and watching REAL teams with REAL players compete for the Stanley Cup, an honor your disgusting, repulsive and utterly disgraceful team has never once deserved since your conception in the year 1926. You shouldn't have the honor of calling yourself an Original Six team, and you're a travesty to the sport of ice hockey. The Wings have been steadily declining for the last decade or so, and the fans have been desperately clinging to their past for as long as they can. The last bit of pride they had came in the form of their playoff streak which started 24 years ago. Redwings fans tried to keep their dignity afloat by grasping onto that little trinket. And now their streak is dead too.