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Due to my husbands stroke he cannot speak.

Poll - Total Votes: 10
No, it is the interaction with you that benifits.
Yes it could be too much reminding him his inabilities
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It's quite difficult to have any conversation when he cannot answer questions. He is in a nursing facility and it's difficult for us both.
I am a senior and know his inability to speak makes him sad. I had a thought to try and use children's flash cards. Alpha and Numeric. And ask him to pick out the letters to spell his name. THIS just to see if he has understanding of what I speak. Or to pick the numbers I speak on command.
My question is, Do you think this would have him feel this demeaning for him? Due to his anger issues I cannot bring him home and feel safe.
Longlegs2014 · 61-69, M
Many stroke victims reported they were fine inside their head. What was impaired was the ability to contol movements and/or communicate.

Major frustration in having fully formed thoughts but all that comes out is gibberish.

If I had to choose, I would quietly assume he understood what I was saying.

It must be incredibly frustrating for you both.
WelshLovely · 46-50, F
It could be exactly what he's waiting for to allow him to communicate. Whatever you decide, good luck!
My father went through the same thing. He is fully aware. The problem isn't understanding it's making the words come out. The children's flash cards would possibly insult him and I know that isn't the intention.

Best could be using flash cards in the short term (normal adult ones) and get him speech therapy for the long term.

I've been there it's difficult. Probably more so for him. Imagine being unable to communicate yet being mentally 'all there'
@Carla1951: I understand. But even if it's not official therapy you can work with him on it yourself. Just motivate him with boobies
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
@Sibo191 It does give a huge smile.
I even suggested we go to his room and I could gift him a BJ. With a very sad expression he pointed and indicated he wasn't able. I assumed it might be they may give a medication to prevent the men form errections?
@Carla1951: I wouldn't know. But doubt that specifically. Between the huge trauma of the stroke along with the stressful situation plus the mix of meds he is getting probably has a negative effect on Mr winky
SweetMae · 70-79, F
If he has anger issues, I think you would know quickly if it's a bad idea.
SweetMae · 70-79, F
@Carla1951: You are such a good daughter and wife. I wish you the very best. So much has changed for you both.🤗
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
@SweetMae: My thanks to you. Tomorrow I will take the long drive to the facility to see if I might try with the cards.
SweetMae · 70-79, F
@Carla1951: when it comes to the mind, it is always our best guess and you know him best.
kayleyem · 22-25, F
Rather than using flashcards which could be demeaning to him, how about just writing stuff on a tablet and showing him?

your love for him is obvious by what you are doing to try to speak with him.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
Aww....I'm sorry. Anything to help him communicate is worth a try. The ability to make his thoughts and feelings known might very possibly help with his anger and frustration issues.
PTCdresser57 · 61-69, M
Idk...you can only try. My dad is in the same condition. It is like I lost my dad.☹
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
It is too much work for me to bring him home. PLUS my home is NOT Wheel Chair accessible. To leave him home alone even for a quick run to the store, would be like leaving an infant alone.
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
@PTCdresser57 What did you try? Or did your family decide to place him in a nursing home. I have to pay $2,400 a moth to keep him in his assisted living facility.
katielass · F
First of all, do not feel guilty because he's not home. It's too much to handle even with no anger issues. Isn't a speech Therapist working with him at the facility? They should be. She can determine if there is hope he will speak again and responsible for finding alternative ways to communicate. It's her JOB.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
This may be something you already know, but there are a few great (IMO) TED talks about strokes and neurological disorders. Just search "TED talks stroke" and an interesting list will appear. Like ....

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU]
Goralski · 51-55, M
Howabout something computer related like on an ipad
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
(Ipad)And have him pick it up and smash it on the concrete floor?
Goralski · 51-55, M
@Carla1951: ok
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
@Goralski: nice thought though!
notaregularguy · 26-30, M
Well..I get u mam. My dad also had heart attack gollowed by brain haemmorage. So he is still paralysed. Sorry for u.
Carla1951 · 70-79, F
Children's flash cards Alpha and numeric to at least make a game of it

 
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