How do I stop these reoccurring dreams?

For months I've been having reoccurring dreams and IDK what to do. I'm always lucid dreaming about my former college best friend. The setting of the dream tends to change but most dreams we are getting food and I end up arguing with her. Long story short I cut her out of my life
because she wasn't there when I needed her and was very fake. Although she tried making things right but my mind was already set. I'm still hurt and haven't talked to her since August.

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SW-User

You know that she's toxic to you but, you were best friends at one point, and you miss the friendship. That happens to a lot of us. The dreams are just the way your brain is managing both the hurt and the loss.

UltimateZero · 26-30

@SW-User You're right Harry and I still miss it but even if I was friends again I wouldn't have the same trust since she broke it. I just wish there was a way to stop the dreams.

SW-User

@UltimateZero I know and I'm sorry you're going through this. It's still a fresh hurt and it's the holiday time. They'll probably start subsiding a bit after the New Year sets in and you get busy with other things.

UltimateZero · 26-30

@SW-User That's very true and I'll try getting busy with things once the time is right.

PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

Possibly the dream is telling you that you did the right thing by cutting her out, but maybe you need to believe you did.

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PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

*HUGE HUG!!* Some folks are like a nice pretty apple... with a worm inside, and sometimes you don't find out til you've already eaten some.

UltimateZero · 26-30

@PeanutsauntieP1982 That's too true! It's sad that she changed for the worst given the people influencing her.

PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F

I know some folks like that too. :-(

AnnaKarenina · 31-35, F

Time is probably the best way. You can practice meditation if you really want them to go away. It's a matter of training your brain to know when you're asleep so that you can lucid dream. Maybe spend ten minutes before going to bed focusing on how you are in control of your mind. Tell yourself that your subconscious and unconscious are not in charge by consciously willing yourself to be more aware of your dreams. When you wake up, spend ten minutes thinking about your dreams and recalling them. This usually helps me bring awareness to my subconscious so that it doesn't come up when I'm unconscious and vulnerably asleep.

UltimateZero · 26-30

@AnnaKarenina I'll definitely try that. I'll do anything at this point to get rid of my dreams.

Sarah71 · 41-45, F

I agree with Harry. I think if you were over her you wouldn't even be having these dreams or posting about them here. She's tried to get back with you which no doubt means she will consider your point of view if you share it with her. Cutting her out of the picture and trying to deal with it through others is only taking your old viewpoint round in circles. Why not send her a Christmas card just to show she's in your thoughts.

UltimateZero · 26-30

@Sarah71 The thing is in our last convo I told her how I felt and it didn't go anywhere. I caught her lying and she was pretty much only talking to me cause the "friends" she left me for stopped talking to her. So after being MIA during my final year of college she decided to care after I moved to my hometown after graduation. She didn't even say goodbye or bothered to reach out and lied about why she didn't. I don't want to have anything to do with her and that's how hurt I still am because of what she did.

rckt148 · 61-69, M

there are meds to stop dreams
I was on them a while ,talk to a doctor

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UltimateZero · 26-30

@rckt148 That totally makes sense but I don't have PTSD

rckt148 · 61-69, M

@UltimateZero you don't need to have PTSD to have nightmares
the meds works on the chemicals in your brain that allows you to dream
Suppress them for a short time and see if it works
It helped me ,I do unfortunately need meds for pain ,but as a rule I don't take anything very long unless I need it really bad .
I take no meds for depression now and I am fine
We all need help once in a while ,and its reasonable not wanting to take meds
but you may not need them long ,its just a suggestion but I do hope your back to resting normal soon

UltimateZero · 26-30

@rckt148 Honestly I've been having these dreams much less but in the first month that I stopped talking to her it was pretty bad. And last night's dream was too vivid that it bothered me. Thank you for the advice! If it
gets any worse I'll consider taking something but I doubt the doctors would give me anything.

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