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I Think Good Friends Are Rare

I have yet to find a friend I can call a Best Friend Forever. I guess at 23 if you don't already have that in your life, you may never find it. I've lost touch with my high school friends, and drifted away from my college friends mainly because they were at points in their lives where other people (excluding their significant others) didn't matter. And among my co-workers the one person I thought to myself,'finally someone that gets me, someone I can call a close friend, someone who could never betray me or diss me, and someone I can trust with my thoughts and secrets', slowly became someone that made me uncomfortable, irrelevant, and unwanted. The friendship I thought we had was false, unreal, and most likely all in my head. I ignored the red flags. I turned a blind eye to the way I was being mistreated, mocked, and offended. I was always around when things got tough, and I always cared. I'm a care giver by nature and a fun out going person who is always down for hanging out and being present. I never use friends for therapy, with my past friendships I never got the chance if I wanted to. I have random thoughts and I reference movie quotes and song lyrics when it's relevant to conversation. What's wrong with that? I don't have time for people who don't have time for me. I don't have time or the energy to entertain drama. I'm too grown for high school games. For me the phrase 'friends come and go' is too close to the truth. I'll just continue to be me, and love me. I'll never change who I am to hold onto a person who doesn't know how to be a friend.
ColdPenguin25
Friendships are more like temporary alliances. The idea of a true 'friend' that society feeds us is...just wrong. The only reason we group up is to gain benefits to make our lives better or easier. If a person does not give enough benefit or has too many demerits, then they are more trouble than they're worth.




I grew up with friends, since before kindergarten, who became like my brothers. I'd rather not splay out my entire story, but suffice it to say that the term 'brother' was ultimately meaningless, as was 'best friend'. Just temporary alliances to make life easier or more entertaining, and if they don't fulfill that role, then they are a drain on personal resources. Sometimes they stick longer than others. Sometimes they last a lifetime. Sometimes a friend would die for another friend. But they're most often just temporary alliances. There is empathy in there, somewhere, but the primary motivation is selfish.




There may also be a genetic causal factor. Some random science thing I read stated that people were more likely to grow to be friends if they had similar genetic structure. The idea of having 'chemistry' with someone, is quite true. It makes sense, since people are more comfortable with people who are like them and generally fear unknowns or differences.




As for care giving. There is a line between being a caring person and being a people pleaser.
angeldsouza
dontworry friend..best is yet to come..u r not alone..many people are in the same situation including me as well..i faced the same thing and feel that there's no place for true friendship these days..my frndz too betrayed me in my past whom i thought were trustworthy.. now i dnt have much frnds in my life..or d ones i have,i dnt feel like trusting thm blindly..i m still in search of a true and a sincere friend..in my process of searching I even fell in love wid someone whom i thought to be d most caring person in d world & thought he is d one filling up the gap of a friend as well but no..at d end i ended up getting hurt:-(
i feel alone sometimes but i accepted d fact and made myself realize that its better to be alone than surrounding urself wid people who mistreat u or ditch u..!!! There's still good things in store for u in ur future..dnt feel sad..cheer up:-)
ashadams244
You might be surprised at how many young adults feel this way. This is an age where priorities start to change for people as they transition into careers, become spouses and parents and take on added responsibility. Suddenly there is less leisure time, and unfortunately, sometimes friendships get neglected. Don't take it personal b/c it likely has nothing at all to do with you. Making friends with people who are in the same place in life as you should help as their priorities will be similar to yours, including where friends fall on that list.
Brokenpanda · 31-35, F
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. :)
SmuckFace
As an "adult", I've found that I made my closest friends when I was in my mid-to-late 20's. I changed so much as I got older and now that I'm a fully-formed person, when I find people who I have important things in common with (values, belief systems, etc) now, I'm better able to keep them (and to WANT to keep them) in my life. I've simply outgrown my childhood and school friends; we just care about very different things. You have so many chances left to find people who will love you for who you are right now; it really does get better.
Brokenpanda · 31-35, F
Thank you!
Pocket347
well, I think everyone needs somebody because I believe everyone should have a friend and that no one should be alone. life is to hard to shoulder on your own.

I am sorry your experience's in life haven't been so great. I don't know what else to say because I am really tired but I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for!
miracles101
Join activities that involve movie lovers, singing ... The things you like....finding like minded people. Craig's list start a group once a month meeting up at a restaurant or cafe with the same interests. You may discover more friends than you believed possible. 😊
K9Flo
The real best friends are yet to come because you'll be ready to recognize them when they least expect them but are in the most need of one...hugs & kisses...laurie
Dark225
age doesn't defines friendship u can make friends its not that heart but make sure the person earns yur trusts
ooosoocute
You can find tons on EP like me I'll be here for the rest of my life with all you awesome people!!:D
smileylove91212
Feeling the same way.
nixf1
aww dear....

 
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