I Am Thinking About Moving Away
I have lived in my new community for almost 2 years. I am finding that this community is just not for me.
It's a lot of things. Basically, I just do not fit in here.
I live in a very rich neighborhood in a big house I call the mini-mansion. I have 4 roommates (I had 5 roommates but one of them moved out a few days ago--they'll be renting out that room soon).
This house used to be a drug rehab house until a few years ago, so the neighbors are still wary of the residents of my place although there are no drug addicts or jailbirds left anymore. The mini-mansion is an unofficial roomming house. We are all poor people here. Our neighbors are all rich.
Down the hill a few miles are mostly blue collar and middle class hispanic people; the area below the hills is about 70% hispanic. After multiple incidents, I finally figured out that many of them really hate anglo people. I won't delineate these various ugly incidents except to comment that I have been a very clueless white person, and it took a number of these incidents to tune me in to the situation. I finally was able to acknowledge the situation to myself after a particularly ugly and very clear incident revealed it to me a few weeks ago.
So...the neighbors aren't too friendly. And those I do interact with down the hill in the blue collar area (where I shop due to my income being at that level) are at times outright hostile.
As for people in my church, they are almost entirely young families. They are working people with kids, and they are the so-called "sandwich" people, taking care of both children and their infirm relatives and elders; they are way too busy to take on a new friend. The folks who are my age are too conventional for me. I am an aging hippie and a creative type of person. Also, if you've read my profile and Featured story about my life, you know that I have had a very unusual and very stressful life, so it's often hard to relate to people who are used to security and family and stability.
I really have made many serious efforts at reaching out to people, none of them very successful. I've really, really tried.
I've decided, after some very careful thought, to start looking for a new community. After I prayed about it, I became inspired with some brand new ideas about where and how I might live. It actually felt like a divine inspiration. I was able to get a whole new optimistic perspective. It now seems like some new doors are opening for me. Time will tell.
I have moved multiple times during these last 2 years; from my apartment in Hollywood where I spent 28 years, to a terrible apartment which I only withstood for a couple of weeks, to a friend's house, to my old rented room at the mini-mansion, to a newer room across the hall at the MM...
I've given away 80% of everything I owned, then organized everything I had left, labelled storage boxes in closet etc. This is the first time in my life I have lived with everything organized, with no clutter. For once, my next move will be easy.
It will take me a while to locate my new community, my next home, but when I do, the move won't be as tough as my other moves.
Thank you, if you've read this far. Thanks for caring about an eccentric old lady wandering around in the California desert, chasing my dream of a home among blue skies, warm weather, and friendly people like Wylie Coyote chases that pesky Roadrunner.
It's a lot of things. Basically, I just do not fit in here.
I live in a very rich neighborhood in a big house I call the mini-mansion. I have 4 roommates (I had 5 roommates but one of them moved out a few days ago--they'll be renting out that room soon).
This house used to be a drug rehab house until a few years ago, so the neighbors are still wary of the residents of my place although there are no drug addicts or jailbirds left anymore. The mini-mansion is an unofficial roomming house. We are all poor people here. Our neighbors are all rich.
Down the hill a few miles are mostly blue collar and middle class hispanic people; the area below the hills is about 70% hispanic. After multiple incidents, I finally figured out that many of them really hate anglo people. I won't delineate these various ugly incidents except to comment that I have been a very clueless white person, and it took a number of these incidents to tune me in to the situation. I finally was able to acknowledge the situation to myself after a particularly ugly and very clear incident revealed it to me a few weeks ago.
So...the neighbors aren't too friendly. And those I do interact with down the hill in the blue collar area (where I shop due to my income being at that level) are at times outright hostile.
As for people in my church, they are almost entirely young families. They are working people with kids, and they are the so-called "sandwich" people, taking care of both children and their infirm relatives and elders; they are way too busy to take on a new friend. The folks who are my age are too conventional for me. I am an aging hippie and a creative type of person. Also, if you've read my profile and Featured story about my life, you know that I have had a very unusual and very stressful life, so it's often hard to relate to people who are used to security and family and stability.
I really have made many serious efforts at reaching out to people, none of them very successful. I've really, really tried.
I've decided, after some very careful thought, to start looking for a new community. After I prayed about it, I became inspired with some brand new ideas about where and how I might live. It actually felt like a divine inspiration. I was able to get a whole new optimistic perspective. It now seems like some new doors are opening for me. Time will tell.
I have moved multiple times during these last 2 years; from my apartment in Hollywood where I spent 28 years, to a terrible apartment which I only withstood for a couple of weeks, to a friend's house, to my old rented room at the mini-mansion, to a newer room across the hall at the MM...
I've given away 80% of everything I owned, then organized everything I had left, labelled storage boxes in closet etc. This is the first time in my life I have lived with everything organized, with no clutter. For once, my next move will be easy.
It will take me a while to locate my new community, my next home, but when I do, the move won't be as tough as my other moves.
Thank you, if you've read this far. Thanks for caring about an eccentric old lady wandering around in the California desert, chasing my dream of a home among blue skies, warm weather, and friendly people like Wylie Coyote chases that pesky Roadrunner.
70-79, F
