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I Hate My Mother

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Hate is a strong word. But no other to describe my feeling toward her, the only thing I thank her for is giving me life. She left when I was 16, she left me with my 5 other siblings with my then abusive father. She left when we had no one else to go to for anything, we had no choice but to raise ourselves. When I turned 18. I filed for custody of my 5 other siblings, because at this rate they were going into foster care. I was the mother that she couldn’t be even when I wasn’t their real mother. Recently she re surfaced, and she messaged me, somehow she had found my online accounts, and asked me for a visit. I declined, because I know if I see this woman I will commit a felony, and probably shoot her. And I’m not trying to go to jail. I was the person that she couldn’t be, I didn’t have a mother, and I refuse to have her back in my life.
26-30, F
8
9 replies
34 views
Dec 31, 2018
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Edited: 9 mths ago
This message was deleted by its author.
Valerie113 · 26-30, F
[@868480,MajorTom]
I just find it unbelievable, I raised her children, I’m raising her children!!!! The ones that she left, that she didn’t want anymore. And she wants to see us? I think not
This message was deleted by its author.
sighmeupforthat · 41-45, M
sounds like she was forced to produce a family then finally got the nerve to run for her life.

well.. you're an adult now... move on.
Valerie113 · 26-30, F
[@341171,sighmeupforthat] ha! Forced? She made the choice of having kids. But you are right, I have moved on, which is why I declined meeting with her
This message was deleted by its author.
Fernie · F
why did she leave?
Fernie · F
[@629782,Valerie113] I won't bore you with the details of my nightmare childhood...alone with a violent psychopath mother. No father, family or siblings. Just me and my broken bones and teeth. I'm twice your age. I wasted much of my life being so angry at her. Eventually, I found the strength to forgive her. She was sick. A damaged woman...so unhappy and SO angry! I saw her after 20 years just a few days before she died...I saw how sad and alone she was... I can't tell you how freeing it is to forgive them. I hope you change your mind about seeing her...even just once. She clearly was messed up when she left. I am not condoning what she did...she has a story to tell...it might very well help YOU to heal....then you never have to see her again if you choose. Don't carry this around forever...it's toxic to your soul
Valerie113 · 26-30, F
[@331316,Fernie]
I don’t know. I’ll give it thought and ask my brothers and sister if they wish to see her. If they do. I’ll do it.
Fernie · F
[@629782,Valerie113] I'm glad you are open to at least think about it...please, don't not do it because your siblings don't. This is about YOU healing from it...your experience is not the same as theirs...what happened impacted you all differently deep down. Wouldn't it be great if you didn't feel this anymore? Drug addicts are sick people. It's a dis ease. You might see much regret and shame in her now if she's clean.
Keaten · 31-35, M
I didn't really have a good relationship with my mother when I was growing up. My situation was no where near like yours which is why I am happy for you and admire your strength to not only survive but to thrive and care for your other siblings as well. I hope that you all are safe and sound.

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I Hate My Mother
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Updated: 1 week ago
Categories: Family Struggles, Parenting and Family
Content Rating: Non-Adult
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