I Am Sad

I am actually depressed and want to die. I am trying to decide if it's just my hormones or if it is an actual desire. Usually I can tell but not so much right now. All I want to do is cry and my feelings are flat or non existent. I am at work, I want to quit. Don't get me wrong, my life is not bad by any means, I just want out.

What do I need to do to want to again? Where do I find the want to? I know all that is within me but I struggle with desire. I lost interest and now just go through the motions. My meds can only do so much, maybe I should see a therapist but I just don't know if that really is the answer. I know my life is on me and I am the only one that can turn it around. It's not hard it's just not worth doing in my mind anyway.

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bigjohndl · 70-79, M

Therapy may do you some good. Also what works for me is to go out and serve others. May some peoples lives better and you will make your own better, also.

Plain

@bigjohndl that's good advice.

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@bigjohndl I am raising my 3 grandchildren, does that count as service to others

bigjohndl · 70-79, M

@mljenkins That's very noble of you. Been there and done that, myself. Take the grand kids and serve others. You could take them to a nursing home to help cheer up residents. Take them to a park to pick up litter. Go to a neighbors with them to cheer them up.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

I can relate... although not the death wish part. But, that "flat" feeling, being emotionless, feeling worthless and empty. I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately and while I don't have any answers I can put into words, I am becoming convinced these feelings we have come from repressing too much. Look up "detached personality" to see if any of the symptoms apply. It doesn't really give you a resolution although there is some calming effect from finding out it's not totally uncommon. Being at work when these "episodes" occur is the worst, I know...

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@MarkPaul Thanks I will research it, if nothing else it will take my mind away for a while

Plain

Trying therapy has got to be a better option than killing yourself. Also , do you have any close friends you can open up to?

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Plain

@mljenkins can you see light at the tunnel , any hope for a time when you feel happier than now and glad to be alive?

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@Plain There is no light, I will continue to push through my days as other people need me to

Plain

@mljenkins try therapy? It's helped many to find a source of light at the end of the tunnel.

Landstrom11 · 26-30, M

Visit friends, take a vacation, go on a road trip, make plans. Set something to work towards. Depression sucks but it's something that just kinda happens from time to time I think you're brain is just trying to tell you it wants more excitement and fun.

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@Landstrom11 I just did all three and honestly feel worse. Because of the Hurricane Irma I went o Tennessee and visited friends and family and it was a great visit and the road trip was not so bad but it did not help my depression.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

A therapist is a good idea. Also, if you have a friend you trust, you can talk to them. Some times talking about your feelings can help you make sense of them.

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@gmatthewb That is a big reason why I come here, to get my feelings out. Sometimes I just need to get it out of me and I am better for a while anyway. Of course not so much right now.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@mljenkins That is part of my reason for coming here as well. That and the distraction. I do hope things improve for you soon.

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