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I Think Fathers Are Just As Important As Mothers

In this day in age, where we have made so many strides to equality, why do fathers still get the shaft when it comes to their rights with their children? My partner and his ex wife separated over 4 years ago and he has had to jump through hoops, fight, plead and compromise just to see his children. He has never missed a support payment, has never bad-mouthed their mother to them, had taken Parenting after separation classes. She bad-mouths him to their children, refuses to use any advice from the Parenting after Seperation classes. She lied to him so he would allow her to move 5 hours away, promising she’ll do whatever to ensure him and their children have contact and relationships....
Then he moved on, got a girlfriend and is happy, she now will not even let him see their kids. Says stuff to them like “he has a new family now and doesn’t give a shit about you guys.” She has blocked his number so he can’t call and talk to them. She told him recently that if he wants to see them he has to come up there. So he does, goes up there with Christmas presents in hand. His daughter calls him an asshole (the mom says nothing to her), then his ex calls the cops and tells them, who knows what, because they treat him like a criminal when they get there. He even showed them the court order showing he has joint custody and visitation rights. They don’t care and tell him he has to leave. There’s nothing he can do. It’s complete and utter bullshit!! She’s doing this because she’s jealous. What a peace of work! She’s hurting those kids so much! When we finally go to court I really hope the judge sees what she’s doing, calls her on it and tells her it stops now!

I am thinking of starting a huge Fathers Rights movement. This has got to stop!!! A child’s relationship with his/her father is very important. *No I’m not talking about a violent, abusive father, I’m talking about the fathers who do their best and do have theirs child’s best interest at heart.*

I was raised by a terrible mother who should have never had children. My step-dad stuck around even after she took off when I was 16 and my brother was 13. He took the stance of no matter the relationship he had with our mother, that has nothing to do with the relationship he developed with us. He was a pretty damn good parent and I appreciate him.
morrgin · F
Parental Alienation is real and your ex is strategically using it on you. Only thing you can really do is keep trying even if you don't get anywhere with it. Hopefully in the end the kids will get older and see you were trying and start to question what their mom tells them. Courts have started to take Parental Alienation very seriously and have even changed custody if it's proven so I've read but haven't seen anything for certain on that. You can file for contempt on her among other court actions. Problem is it's expensive and time consuming. My fiance has to go to court for custody soon. His daughter has been living with us for almost two years now. He got Child Support to suspend him having to make payments. His ex is furious. His daughter loves him but is very disrespectful to him. We're only now starting to realize all the things his ex has said to her that are lies to make her think her dad neglected her and abused her mom. She says that her mom told her he left her in drug houses. Uh no. Her dad was missing work and kicking in doors of drug houses getting his infant daughter who is crying, dirty and hungry out of those drug houses that the mom was at and taken their daughter along with her. I'm rambling sorry...The mom gets legal aid for free for family court and they turn their nose up at the dad.
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
Wow, ya that’s a sick and heartbreaking story. Thankfully she’s been living with you guys. 😊Once my bf takes his ex to court we’re hoping to see a turn around. He hasn’t given up yet.

I hope things turn around for your fiancé, lying to the kids so they dislike their own father is disgusting. @morrgin
GeniUs · 56-60, M
Happened to me too, too many stories to tell but my story is not even the worst I've heard of had a couple of crackers from guys I worked with.
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
@GeniUs It’s a terrible epidemic and it needs to change!
GeniUs · 56-60, M
People said to me why don't you report all the things she does but what would be the point? She isn't going to prison and if she got fined it would be paid from my maintenance and would be something else she could blame on me for the kids not having enough. (She took maintenance off the kids when they worked because 'your dad doesn't pay anything.' Direct debit from the bank every month happy to show anybody but oddly enough they didn't want to see, I guess if they hadn't seen the proof they could still believe what my ex told them. (My Mother in law and 2nd daughter were the people I offered to show).
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
@GeniUs Wow, that is really disgusting that she’s doing that!! The truth does come out...eventually.

I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with that bullshit!
Ynotisay · M
A friend of mine is a Family Law attorney and only represents men in court. His stories are mind-blowing. A supposedly gender-neutral court system is anything but. It's one of the most unfair situations out there yet it gets practically no attention. If a guy gets married without a Pre-Nup with conditions attached relating to custody and support he's out of his freaking mind.
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
@Ynotisay pre-nups mean shit, all the woman has to do is lie, not even have to prove anything. Makes my blood boil!
Ynotisay · M
@Jeephikelove Nope. They're legally binding. And if more men realized that in the eyes of the law marriage is a BUSINESS CONTRACT, there would be less men turning their lives over to a vindictive spouse.
Here's where women do lie though. It's become very, very common and the courts have yet to address it.
In a child custody hearing, at least in California, all a woman has to say is "I was afraid he was going to molest or hurt the child." Boom. The judge immediately suspends visitation. It's then up to the husband to PROVE he wasn't a threat to the child. That means getting statements from friends and employers as well as spending the money to lawyer up. If he doesn't it's on his record. It's become a court strategy.
Women, by the mere fact that they have a vagina, are automatically considered to be the better parent. It's really, really messed up.
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
@Ynotisay Yup, yup same up here with the lies. It’s disgusting!
Repete · 61-69, M
I agree with you I had to fight for two years with the state before I could raise my own daughter after they said my wife could not raise her . I was forced to choose between my wife and our daughter .
The whole system is against the dad . Dads are only good to pay bills . If they do that they still get nothing .
Repete · 61-69, M
@Jeephikelove I'll just say good luck
Repete · 61-69, M
I also wanted to say thank you . I just got back on and read what I posted and thought I didn't say thank you before @Jeephikelove
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
@Repete 🤗
Kids have the rights to both their parents. It's awful when one side of the parents is using their own kids as hostages in blackmailing the other parent. It happens all over. It's why I say equality should go both ways. I'm so sorry for your partner who has to go though all this crap to fight the rights of his children to have their father in their lives too. Meh.
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
You are so right!! @SapphicHeart
Quizzical · 46-50, M
Unfortunately it's a common problem :(
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
@Quizzical Yes it is and it needs to stop!!! These women need to be stopped! Women who do things like this make me sick to be the same gender. What they’re doing is VERY abusive.
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