I Am My Own Worst Enemy

The self loathing can run so deep sometimes. Such hatred for what is seen in the mirror. Letting self destruction take over as a means for making that person pay.
Making them pay tortuously slow. They deserve so much worse than an easy escape from all of it. They need to keep feeling the pain until it withers them away and leaves them numb. Leaving them with nothing but a fragile shell that is unresponsive. Deaf and blind to any care or worry that tries to get through to it. Hopeless yet still too afraid to see it all end.