I Can Handle The Truth
[b]In such seconds of decision entire futures are made.
Dan Simmons[/b]
I am in the room I’m using... I’ve been staying at work. Working very late every night & all last weekend. I’ve pushed the boundaries of what I can take, to the point where when I have slept, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night in a panic, two nights running. Fighting for breath because my work has taken over every thought. I am hopeful tonight will not be the third.
People are worried. Meetings have been had to discuss the girl burning the midnight oil... But the work needs done, so I’ve been doing it. I’ve needed something to feel something for. A passion. This is a passion.
But right now i am in my room. I can’t remember the last time I stopped & took a breath, & it is heavenly. I am grateful for it.
I wonder do I feel sadness, is that why I am doing this to myself? Is there something buried under the structure I’ve put up to close out the possibility that the last time was really the last time... Was it supposed to be? Where you sent to get me out rather than to stay?
But the quiet is lovely. The peace of a moment alone in amongst the chaos.
I am happy, here, right at this moment. I have everything I need. A bed to rest, air in my lungs & a tomorrow to mould as I please... & I am grateful for it all.
Dan Simmons[/b]
I am in the room I’m using... I’ve been staying at work. Working very late every night & all last weekend. I’ve pushed the boundaries of what I can take, to the point where when I have slept, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night in a panic, two nights running. Fighting for breath because my work has taken over every thought. I am hopeful tonight will not be the third.
People are worried. Meetings have been had to discuss the girl burning the midnight oil... But the work needs done, so I’ve been doing it. I’ve needed something to feel something for. A passion. This is a passion.
But right now i am in my room. I can’t remember the last time I stopped & took a breath, & it is heavenly. I am grateful for it.
I wonder do I feel sadness, is that why I am doing this to myself? Is there something buried under the structure I’ve put up to close out the possibility that the last time was really the last time... Was it supposed to be? Where you sent to get me out rather than to stay?
But the quiet is lovely. The peace of a moment alone in amongst the chaos.
I am happy, here, right at this moment. I have everything I need. A bed to rest, air in my lungs & a tomorrow to mould as I please... & I am grateful for it all.
