I Can Handle The Truth

Since we came to this Earth we are taught.
Regulated through reward and punishment to do what others want.
We are labeled, placed in boxes, and objectified by our actions or looks based on accepted generalities society invented.
We must live with the fear of disapproval all our lives.
For we must meet the standards we were born into to be deemed worthy of acceptance.
If something has to exist first before it can ask for anything, then nothing asked to exist, since existing precedes asking.
So what is this “free will” people talk about?
I didn’t choose to exist, nor my body, mind, instincts, and what the world contains- from which I can work with but was simply born into it without prior investigation.
Love? What is that?
Attachment to a person, place, thing, or idea that pleases my sense of sight, smell, taste, hearing, or feeling?
Are we not just in love with ourselves since there’s no way to escape going after what we desire?
Self-preservation, selfishness is precisely what enables us to live because if we were selfless 100% and gave it all away we would be dead.
The fear of painful consequences whether physical, emotional, or social lies at the heart of the man-made concept of marriage and monogamy.
Contradict them and you’re left alone or worse.
Humans.
We are all possessive, controlling, self-seeking beasts without control of our instinctual nature we had no choice over in the first place.
We are just told what to do.
To listen. We want. We tell and are told what to do or what we “should” do to “grow”.
All leading where?
The inescapable trap of our flesh and being.
When ALL there is to life is seeking our form of pleasure and evading our form of pain.
But through distraction we lessen the sting.
Ideally it is better to be alone, to not hurt others or be hurt, as the top part of the rose deceives others of its thorns.
But then monotony hits and we seek to use or be used.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

I am always delighted to be privy to at least some of the thoughts young people are thinking.

Every day here I read something that indicates young people are seeking ways to make the world a better place. Ecology, protection of animals, the desire to eradicate racism, sexism, genderism and the thousand other ailments that pollute and divide the human spirit.

I also read a lot of essays like this one. I didn’t ask to be here. Not only have I no responsibilities, I am bound and gagged by my circumstances. It is not [i][b]my [/b][/i] choice to wound, kill, destroy, mock, belittle or demean. I cannot help myself. I am an animal no different from any other animal.

I do nothing for altruistic reasons. I am unable to act altruistically because the bottom line is I do and can do nothing that does not dovetail with my own selfish needs, because I am no more self-aware than a goldfish or an amoeba, and if you expect more of me, you are simply not a realist.

Often, these same writers express shock and disbelief when they are faced with the very behavior they state is unavoidable.

I’m confused.

I do not understand how one can believe every human life is a foregone conclusion, whether or not we can see their coming destiny, and then express even surprise or disapproval at anything they do.

How can anyone decry racism or genderism when it is manifested? Under this philosophy, if I am a bigot, it’s not my fault. I was born into a life I didn’t ask for, raised by people who twisted and warped me with their own sickness bequeathed to them by [b][i]their[/i][/b] precedents. I was forced into a world which requires me to accept and act upon its established rules and reigning philosophy. If I swim against the tide of common thought, I will be shunned, banned, punished, ostracized, even killed. I will be, in the end, cornered and fighting for the very life I was forced to have and didn’t want, and not once can I be held responsible for anything I did.

In all sincerity, I don’t get it.

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TheEldersnout · 31-35, F

[c=#666666]@Specialyouare Hey, I had a poor childhood too, but I don't use it to excuse my [i]many[/i] bad behaviors since then. ;)[/c]

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Specialyouare I think you missed my point. I do not believe that description of humanity, I was paraphrasing others who, like you, claim humans are base and vile.

I don’t fear all dogs because some dogs bite. I merely exercise caution around a strange dog.

My question was...if you believe what you say you believe about humanity, do you have an opinion about murder, rape, abuse, racism, genderism, or any of the other malignancies in human society, or do you simply consider it acceptable because humans cannot control or alter their nature?

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

@Mamapolo2016
My point is that we didn’t ask to exist, we exist as a consequence of our parents being intimate with each other, and we have to deal with this life as a consequence of their action. We chose not our existence, we chose not our looks, not our mind, instincts, the world, or the raw materials the world contains with which we have to work with. That being said we are made responsible for a life we chose nothing of. This is a fact, correct? We are only wanted as long as we are pleasing, productive, and harmless? Correct? Or we are labeled and sent to be “fixed”. These are just facts.

My next point is that we think we are so “moral” and yet we destroy plant and animal for our own survival. We eat and use animals for clothing. We destroy plants and the environment for our dwellings and livelihood. We are selfish as we too accept others as long as they are pleasing, productive, and harmless. If we were 100% selfless and gave ALL away with no boundaries we would be dead.

We are selfish and biased within our own species.

That being said, it has been demonstrated humans brains are as sponges absorbing what they are taught. Our upbringing affects how we treat other humans and reason. It has been demonstrated humans can control themselves to a degree based on behaviors we were taught to get along amongst one another to attempt to collectively bring pleasure to our species and avoid pain for our species, for the sake of survival.

Our origin is a mystery. But our design and the design of what exists is so superior to what mankind could ever create, it surpasses logic. How we came to be, where we came from, what happens when we die... that is all speculation. But as a human species we realize the seemingly miraculous essence to be able to see, hear, taste, feel, and smell and experience pleasure and pain... although life scars us with the fact the idea of genuine love seems surreal as we are only wanted as long as we are pleasing, productive, and harmless.

If we can’t control our selfishness in regards to other species let us control ourselves in causing the least pain possible within our own through using tenants such as compassion, empathy, and understanding which are behaviors that have been taught to increase others’ desire to stay alive.

TheEldersnout · 31-35, F

[c=#666666]Hi. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading this. :)
Do you want to discuss some of your opinions/ideas, or would that be intruding? A few lines did strike my eagle-eye. 😁[/c]

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Mamapolo2016 · F

@TheEldersnout I already added you. So no, I’m not in the least opposed.

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

@TheEldersnout Yes you are correct that people will disapprove and our personal feelings about it only affect us. If one has the ability to not feel “fear” but maybe feel excited to explore new situations, new challenges that is ideal. I mean, my personal goal is to stop fearing the disapproval of others.

But in real life not measuring up to standards has consequences, that is what I meant by “we must live with the fear of disapproval all our lives”.

I admire people that can have intimacy like that. I don’t know if I’m just a misfit, but I find if I am not pleasing, productive (useful), and harmless no one cares or in fact they yell and want to do away with me. I laugh and have fun encounters but I just can’t get close, realizing these conditions of which I myself place on others for safety and survival makes me never fully trust anyone. I always figure no one has the capacity to care about me like I can care about myself.

TheEldersnout · 31-35, F

[c=#666666]@Specialyouare Well, I don't disapprove of you, reading your heartfelt emotions.
I avoid people for the most part. I don't fear their disapproval, but it is few people whom I find interesting talking with.

Well, talk to me as a friend maybe? I do have very few people in my life, and a lot of emotional capacity, within my heart. I don't like it when people can never talk about anything else than themselves. I understand a large ego, but also expect like-wise curiosity and compassion in return.[/c]

Justbychance · M

There are more questions than answers, there are more emotional states of being than have been recorded or than ever will be recorded. There are more opinions which require differing 'Yeah's' and 'Nay's' depending upon our circumstances and there are more differing endings to every beginning. There are more ways of being with yourself that you might imagine and imagination itself knows no limits. Humankind is considered the superior race on this our planet yet look at where it leads us en-mass.

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