I Am In Love

Think of it like this! Love is comprised of multiple aspects. I understand the "high" feeling is just chemical, but it's still necessary for the short time it's there. That's a body part of love (eyes mostly :p ). Then, once that fades a bit (it's still there, it will ALWAYS subtly be there, but it's not so strong anymore) you're left with the other aspect of love; Devotion.

Devotion is a hard thing to come by with people! They want the high to last forever in a magnificent strength, but when it's time to commit they leave.

After the high, and willingness to devote yourself to one person (truthfully), you have sensuality. Why is this a part of love? It is the act of "expressing" it, and for another reason, in creating different type of bond. People characterise it as a "spiritual" bond, but whatever you call it, having "oneness" with someone adds more depth and meaning to your relationship. It does release a STRONG bonding chemical that aids with keeping things monogamous, but ultimately, it is a part of love.

Those three things cannot do without each other! Seriously! You can have devotion and sensuality, but if you never have the high to begin with, you're forcing something on yourself which will be emotionally and mentally tormenting - I've been there.

Likewise, if you don't have devotion, you become like some of these SW perves! That's not a good place to be either!

So, you don't want half a cat, but the whole cat. Love is multifaceted and one without the other, as I mentioned, is complete torment!

I understand why you feel the way you do. I think it is a shame that people don’t value relationships and the work it takes to be in a healthy one. Many times they confuse their infatuation for love. I think the best time is after the initial honeymoon phase, when you settle in, and things are comfortable and happen more effortlessly. Do not give up. True love does still exist. Someone is out there for you, who wants the same things you do, and will love you unconditionally. Life works in mysterious ways. Until your special person enters your life, consider doing self care. Become the best, healthiest, most loving person you can be. Keep your heart open. It is worth the wait, and long line of painful relationships that bring you there. Never give up on love.

I think you're right. There are always conditions.

Bonding neurochemicals tend to fade after 6 months to 2 years. I do think people tend to confuse that "high" feeling for love. But also wonder whether or not love is possible, without it. Has to be there to some degree.

Still. There are plenty of men who end up dying to protect those they care about. I can't imagine they would die for lust.

Although I do agree that society sucks, yet if love came easy it wouldn't be so special. To understand, or overstand. Most people nowadays have a hard enough time understanding themselves. It's far from impossible, I'd say the biggest issue hopelessness, infecting people hearts, weighing them down till one day they just settle

I like to believe what you say here is true but I can’t. I’ve had a long lasting relationship for 8 yrs and I fell for him at such a tender age but what he and I shared were genuine. In the end it was paranoia and irreconcilable differences but that man sure did loved my difficult ass. It wasnt just lust for me 😕

Hang in there it will probably come. My wife and I worked together for 14 years before we got married and have been married for 23 now. It happens. We were both married before to really messed up people but survived to be happy now.

Its certainly a very difficult thing to find. Many people are just users and sometimes its hard to sort them out from genuine people

I am a little older than you , nooo a lot older than you.. a different generation before all the internet stuff.. and we did fall in love. but like every think it really does not last for most of us.. not sure that humans really are made to be with just one partner throughout their lives.. too many things change in our thinking as we get older.. but I do wish you good luck and yes there is real love out there.. but not sure it lasts forever

I thought I had what you are looking for...but it turned out that eventually, the love died out for her even though it didn't for me. That's the thing I have learned, just because you both love each other in the beginning doesn't mean that the other person will always feel that way, even if you do.

Hi V, Totally agree. I m in your shoe. I really want to be with someone who is seriously and genuinely in love with me.

Today's era, one can rarely find such person. I really wish I meet that person, who won't leave my side for any other.

It's a shame that you are so disillusioned with finding real love and I totally agree that many confuse it with lust. The Hollywood 'romance' is equally a fantasy and so many think that if they don't get the same experience as they see in romantic movies then they have not found love. I hope you will find someone who you can truly cherish and respect and who will be able to do the same for you. He will be your friend as well as lover and you will overcome hardships as well as enjoy good times. The relationship that survives all is the one where real love is to be found. I agree with jewelson29's wish in his last sentence for you (and him indeed).

I see that happen too much. People mistake lust for love and they bounce from one person to another.

It's really sad. :/

Well said. Ans i agree. Dont see how people marry someone they've know 5 months... And call it love

That's how i feel i never wanted to date anyone knowing it would probably last a month.

I think the odds are better. But you're right. It is rare to find true love.

Think could be right?

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